I took this pic approximately 12 minutes before I realized what week it is. I was having such a good day & I was feeling all bubbly and fun and excited to work. But when I looked at my planner and realized what week it was, it totally knocked the wind out of my lungs. To the short of it, cinco de mayo marks a really shit time for me & my PTSD. I won't go into details because it's private & I don't want to risk triggering anyone else. But basically, my hands are trembling, I feel physically sick & just bleh.
However, the reason I'm sharing this here now is because I think it's important to talk about these types of struggles & to remind myself and others that shitty stuff comes but it doesn't have to stay.
So today, I let myself feel my anxiety and my ptsd for a few moments. I took my anxiety medication, I dumped out the rest of my coffee (caffeine makes this worse for me), I texted my family and asked for prayers, I texted a few of my closest friends and partner to make plans on the day of, so I could fill my week with something to look forward to, not to dread. I did a seven minute "drop the storyline" meditation from the Breathe app & I'm now refocusing my energy and my intentions for the day. I will not let this conquer me & I will have a reallllly freaking good day.
Ok, now back to being obsessed with my new lipstick and puppy dress. 💛 #mentalhealthawareness