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yourpalcolin yourpalcolin

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Colin Pal  Director of Change. Ambassador of Stillness. Chaser of Near-life Experiences. Student of Movement.

http://theundeniableclarity.com/

I remember asking a girl I was on a date with, why she meditates. Yes, I ask that on dates, doesn’t everyone?
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She didn’t hear me because she was busy on her phone. So I waited, awkwardly.
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It felt like an eternity before she finally responded, “hmm, sorry what was the question again, I didn’t catch that?”
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I repeated the question and this time she replied with, “to be more present, duh.”
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And then she went back to looking at her phone...
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That was my cue to initiate protocol 174: slowly back your chair up until you find yourself all the way back home.
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Being present gets tossed around a lot these days. Thing is, many people don’t truly understand what it means to be present.
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You don’t get to decide if you’re being present, you are present when other people around you feel you are present.
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Being present is an act of service, to others. So you’re present when the other person says you’re present, when they feel that you are being present, when they feel like you’re listening to what they say, that they’re being heard, that what they say and feel matters. That you’re paying attention to them—giving up your time and energy for them. When you’re in the moment holding space for them instead of wandering in thoughts. Or on your phone.
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I hate to say this but simply going to a yoga class or meditating every morning does not make you more present, or a better person. Why?
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Because until you stop worrying about how high you can extend your leg over your head and instead care about how far you can extend your empathy beyond your little circle.
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Until you can say hi to the person you wake up next to before checking your notifications and likes.
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Until you can choose to put your phone away at dinners and initiate deeper talks and connections instead.
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Until you learn to confront and have difficult conversations with your coworker, or partner.
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Until you deliberately move from a culture of instant gratification and dopamine to a culture of oxytocin and serotonin.
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These practices are without a point.
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Being present is 1% technique and 99% showing up.
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So put your phone away and show up. .
Day 7 #leanintotheresistance

CONFESSION TIME: I have a secret love affair.
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And it’s getting pretty damn serious. I don’t know what to tell my previous love.
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My partner that has been there for me for as long as I could remember. She always made me feel safe, whispering in my ear telling me it’s ok to stay, that she’ll protect me. Always stroking my hair, reminding me that I am lovable, if I keep being this way. She doesn’t push me to do things I didn’t feel like doing. She didn’t bring up things I didn’t feel like talking about. But I realize now this all comes with a cost.
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The challenge right now in our relationship is that I have made this shift and have caused a disruption. We no longer reflect each other’s truth. We make poor decisions that don’t align in integrity. We’ve distanced ourselves and the gap keeps growing on the hour. Or no, maybe I’m just growing. Growing beyond my partner and it’s making her feel uncomfortable. But the only way of honouring my growth is to let her go.
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To let go of my long time love… with Comfort.
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Because I have a love affair… with Fear.
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Resistance to fear is love. If you’re feeling an unreal amount of resistance (internal resistance that is) to your important work—your project, your muse, your art, your unlived life—that’s a good thing because it means there’s also an unreal amount of love there too. If you didn’t truly love your important work, it wouldn’t be that terrifying to you. But you do feel it. You feel the resistance and the fear and that’s what makes your unmanifested work so much more important to you.
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It’ll hurt, it’ll suck, it’ll crush you, it’ll defeat you, but you’re going to love it. All of it.
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A love affair you won’t tell anyone about because it’s the one where you’re completely vulnerable and naked and doing things you could never imagine you’d do. Kinky.. I know.
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Musings of Day 6/30 #leanintotheresistance. Gratitude to everyone for the lovely feedback these past few days. I doing this for me but I’m so glad it’s being well received for you. Can’t wait to share more! . 📷 : @sop.phan

Day 5 #leanintotheresistance
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PAY ATTENTION
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Great work, growth and change is to seek out tension. To lean into the resistance and tension and to dare enough to ask yourself “what story am I telling myself about this resistance?” And “is this story serving me, serving others?” and then diving even deeper to change the narrative. To change the cognitive framing—your interpretations of your experience, the meaning you give things that happen to you, for you, by you.
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The story you tell, no.. the story you CHOOSE to tell about any situation changes the experience. They say you can’t change the past. I beg to differ. I believe you can change the past by changing the story you choose to tell about you past.
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It all starts with choosing to PAY ATTENTION. To pay attention to the stories you tell yourself, the stories you tell your ego on the daily.
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I like watching people. In a totally non-creepy way fyi.
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You learn so much by observing people, the science of people, what makes them do what they do. I was working in a coffee shop the other day and I witnessed a couple arguing. It was there that I saw it.
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The reason for their argument.
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He saw how he was feeling but he didn’t see how he was reacting. She saw how he was reacting but she couldn’t see how he was feeling. Good chance it was the same thing the other way around.
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You can usually see how you feel but don't see how you act. (sometimes you don’t even see either)
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You can see how the other person acts but then you don't see how they feel.
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This is the flint that starts most arguments.
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So if you pay more attention to how the other person feels and look at how you are choosing to act. If you pay attention enough to hear the story you’re choosing to tell about the situation. Chances are, they will do the same.
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Go ahead, try it.

Day 4 #leanintotheresistance - JUST MOVE
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Yesterday I inched forward into the uncomfortable, I attended my first conscious dance class. If you know me, you know I’m really shy about dancing (when I’m sober that is). But I was invited to lean into the resistance to movement last night. So I did.
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My first instructions upon entering the arena of the unknown was, “there are no instructions, just move.” My exact thoughts, “oh fuck me..” I did the only thing I could do. Surrender and play.
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There was something magical and ineffable about getting out of my head and tuning into my body. To just move to the beat of the music, the flow of my breath and the rhythm of my life. To be spatially aware of those around me, to make contact and to connect with them all while letting my guard down and not worry about what they think of me. To stop judging myself.
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I listened to my body. When I fully immersed in being the liberated and creative expression of myself, every meditative move I made told me a story of who I am. The stories in your head usually tell a prophecy of fear or a tale of an unchangeable past. But the stories in your body are always a song and dance of the present. It’s telling you what’s happening now—whether that’s pain, anger, love or bliss. The question is are you listening?
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Since my ayahuasca experience I have been fascinated with exploring my boundaries with movement and what it means to me. It has recontextualize and hijacked my understanding of meditation and the way I teach it.
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I’ve been married to the stillness of meditation but am now opening my eyes to the harmony of both movement and stillness when I'm bathing in these deeper states of awareness and consciousness. That understanding yourself, your relationship with resistance, and your way beyond resistance can’t just be found in stillness. That you must also move.
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Our ancestors did. They explored stillness in the mind and movement in the body. Yet, we do the complete opposite. We trap our bodies at our desks and on our couches in stillness and we move our minds into dangerous terrains of stress, anxiety and fear. And we wonder why we feel less connected and fulfilled.
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MOVE!

Day 3 #leanintotheresistance
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WHY ARE YOU INVENTING YOUR OWN SUFFERING?
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Can I ask you do one thing for me today? I promise you it’s simple and magical. I also won’t lie to you and say it’s easy. The important work is almost never easy. But you already knew that.
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Can I ask you to stop inventing your own suffering? There’s enough going on in the world now we don’t need you to induce more on yourself. Instead we need you to show up to the world with your genius, creative, and liberated expression.
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I’m asking you to change the narrative, you know, the noise in your head telling you that you need reassurance to show up. The stories you tell yourself. Let’s change it.
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Because if you need reassurance, you’re definitely not going to find it here (or anywhere), and it wouldn’t really do you any good. The Buddhists call suffering, “dukkha”—when you’re attached and you hang on so damn tightly to something that is constantly changing (which is everything really), it’s when you expect something to happen and it doesn’t, or you expect it not to happen and it does.
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The thing is, suffering is all invented.
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It’s the story about the anxiety and gut twisting feeling you get from projecting in advance the experience of failure. It’s judging yourself for what you've yet to do. It’s the deep pit you feel when you worry about how others will judge you for something you haven’t done yet. The narrative of failure, of shame, of showing up, of being seen.
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The other bestselling story you tell your reflection is the one on entitlement. The one where you finally show up, you do your best work, you take down your walls and you speak your heart, you dance with the resistance and tension, you leap into uncertainty… and you don’t get the results you expect, the results you feel you deserve.
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The first story pushes you away from showing up. But when you finally show up with all your heart and soul and not get the gratitude you demand, the second story cuts at your limbs and prevents you from getting back in that arena.
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What I’m asking you to do today is to change that narrative. To dare enough to leap and care enough to keep showing up.

Day 2 #leanintotheresistance
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DON’T FORGET RULE 1
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Stop taking yourself so damn seriously.
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It’s not “stop taking the problem so seriously”, but it’s “stop taking yourself so damn seriously”.
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When dancing with Resistance, it’s natural to take yourself seriously, to take it personally. There’s a lot on the line when it comes to working with resistance, when it comes to doing our craft, running our business, being in a relationship. And every single day, something comes up and threatens to tear it all down. All of it.
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So yes it’s hard to not take yourself so damn seriously. It will feel personal. It’s what your ego wants because it’s YOUR work after all. It’s what your core brain wants because these are all threats to your survival—the danger, the comparison, the shame. And it's what resistance wants because it feeds on your fears.
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But does it really have to be personal?
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Resistance is impersonal, it isn’t out to get you. Heck, it doesn’t even know who you are and I bet it doesn’t even care. Sorry but not sorry. Resistance acts objectively. It’s a malevolent force impending doom on everyone’s creative soul. Keyword is everyone.
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There are no heroic stories in history where if you take yourself so seriously, you’ll take the problem more seriously and you’ll do a better job at it. But if you stop taking it so personally, doing the hard work does become easier. The fear of the outcome no longer decapitates you.
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It’s not personal because when you fail, and you will, it’s not a statement about you. You didn’t fail. Your idea failed, your approach failed, your tactic failed, your strategy failed. So you get back up and you get back into the arena and you keep showing up. You keep leaning into that resistance.
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Dance on brothers and sisters. It’s not about you. It’s so much bigger than you.
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If you have not yet set this rule for yourself, do you a favor, do the world a favor, and make your rule 1 be: "Stop taking yourself so damn seriously. PLAY!"
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As you lean in and do what you need to do to show up every day, always ask yourself if it’s necessary to violate rule 1 to get there.

Day 1 #leanintotheresistance
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DANCING WITH RESISTANCE
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It’s sharing your creation even when you’re drowning in self-doubt. Paralyzed with the thought of “am I even good enough?” But it’s knowing in every fibre of your body that your craft is a gift and not sharing it is a crime—cheating the world of your contribution.
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It’s telling someone you love them and sitting there with the fear of rejection. Rehearsing the stories of what could go wrong. Reliving the narratives over and over like a producer of a horror film. It’s suffocating from the possibility of losing a great friendship for a chance at something magical.  But it’s also finding the courage to lean in anyways. Leaning in until you fall. Because no one ever dives into love, they fall in love.
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It’s embracing change and something new (and terrifying!) while allowing your guts to churn turn in the unknown. Beginning a new business venture. Starting program of personal growth and deep inner work. Releasing your untethered soul into the wild. It’s looking for signs of reassurance and knowing it’s not here, and it wouldn’t do you any good even if it were. Then silently whispering to yourself, “well shit”, and taking the leap forward knowing, just trusting, that the world is ready for you, more than ever before.
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Don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t done the bachata with resistance before. I know. I know because I dance with it everyday. It's my lighthouse. My guiding voice reminding me to live.
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Am I scared? Fuck yes, every time.
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The fear remains, always.
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No matter what you do. It surrounds you and penetrates you. It binds the life you live and the unlived life you want. But like a compass, it points you in the direction you need to go. Towards it, not away from it.
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So here I am, letting down my guard and leaning the shit into this resistance. I’m starting a 30-day creation challenge.
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The old narratives are no longer serving me. What I need is a different story. What I need is a cognitive reframing, a creative hijacking of my character and understanding.
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It’s about owning my crazy, to stop cheating the world of what I have to offer. It’s my turn.
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📷:@soph.phan

Wanna hear something cool? Fear is actually a message and not a command, so YOU have the ability to decide if it's serving you. The messages of fear is exactly the same as the messages of excitement—the pounding heart, the shallow breathing, the heightened and stimulated senses. Once you see it, the only difference between gut-churning fear and mind-blowing excitement is your mindset. You choose! 😁

What rad things are you up to this weekend? 🤙

A good friend once told me, "the man who can not find a temple in his heart, will never find his heart in any temple."

I did it! Completed the altMBA, and took the leap to live the manifesto of changemakers and to commit to making a ruckus.
I will do the hard part first.
I will embrace emotional labor.
I will think of myself as the type of person who can and does... And I will act that way.
I will adopt a posture of generosity, giving without hope of getting.
I will care about people and the world around me... And I will act that way.
I will dance with fear.
I promise I will continue to keep making a ruckus.
And then I'll teach someone else to do so, too.
Now it's your turn. #altMBA #altMBA13

The opposite of courage is not fear
But resistance

For the fearless would not understand true courage

To beat the resistance to fear then is the real game

Beyond resistance lies flow

So go ahead

Go and dance with fear

Dance into the night with your head held high

Dance until you sweat and breathe courage

🎵I'm on a boat! I'm on a boat! Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat 🎵

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