A few months ago I ended a very toxic relationship and I went off the deep end. I started to question my sobriety (I did not completely relapse) and stopped taking care of myself in many ways, including doing many of the things I love like yoga, running, and being on Instagram. My attitude became very dark and everything about me became cynical. I started piercing everything I could put a needle through and pain became a drug I couldn't get enough of. The last few months I've tortured myself and have had so many intense feelings of guilt, shame, and self blame. There were days I could hardly brush my hair, let alone get out of bed.
It's hard to remember that just because my dad isn't in my life once again that there are other people who love me, especially my mom who has been my biggest cheerleader. Many days I forget this and let the despair control me. Admitting that I slipped up is hard but I'm still on my path to recovery and addiction won't always rule me.
I am loved. YOU are loved and important. If you're going through addiction either with self harm, drinking, substance abuse, etc always remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and recovery is worth it everyday. #yeswestillhaveourxmastreeup #yoga #yogaeverydamnday