I almost posted a "Me, too" last night but changed my mind. "I've never been brutally raped", I told myself. "Nothing bad ever happened to me. I'm so lucky." Well, I spent the day thinking and it seems i forgot a couple of things. I forgot about that time I was on the beach with my dogs when a guy approached me, openly masturbating, looking me in the eye as he ejaculated. I forgot about the three times in my life (three!) I was drugged while out dancing, probably with the intent of rape. All three times I was lucky enough to be found by a friend before something awful happened (more awful than having an unknown substance slipped in your drink that left you vomiting and unconscious, that is). I forgot about the time I was waiting for my turn in a bathroom line and a guy walked by and casually shoved his hand up my skirt and tried to pry his fingers up my vagina. I forgot about the time I was out with a friend in Spain and two proper-looking guys bought us a beer. While talking they turned to each other and discussed in detail, in between polite questions about our vacation, which one of us they would take turn raping first (they didn't know I was fluent in Spanish). I forgot about the time I ran for my life to escape a large, scary group of guys who groped me and chased me down the street after I declined their offer to "get some". A cab stopped at a light as I turned a corner and even though it was occupied, I jumped in. I'd lost my purse running but I didn't care - I don't remember ever being so scared. But I forgot. I forgot about a lot of things.
What I'll never forget is the time an acquaintance called to tell me he'd found one of my best friends passed out in the gutter. Naked. Her clothes were ripped to shreds in a pile by her side. Bruises covered her legs. At the hospital they told us "This happens a lot. She shouldn't have been walking home on her own". I won't forget that. Or the myriad accounts of rape and sexual abuse shared with me by girlfriends, each more awful than what I went through. After all, I dubbed all of it so common, so mundane, it wasn't even worth remembering. "This happens a lot." .
Yea. We know.