Showing up for yourself is not always easy.
I taught this AM and planned to take an evening class at the studio since I didn't get to practice like I normally do. Mornings are easy for me because baby sleeps in (she has to catch up on the zz's she misses out on in the middle of the night!🙈) and I can sneak a practice in before the day has really started. Evenings are harder, but I want to stick with my daily practice even while teaching, while running a business, while being a mom. It's important.
So, today. I ended up in a few meetings during the day with Dennis taking care of Luna, and as the day went on I started feeling more and more guilty about the idea of going to practice since I had already been away. My mind started filling up with thoughts like "I shouldn't be selfish, I should go home" and "it's not that important anyway". Baby isn't sleeping well these days and I'm walking around in sort of a zombie-like haze. Truth is, having one full hour to myself every day is a gift I need to give myself when I can. It makes me a better mother, wife, friend, boss... But all day I had that voice at the back of my head making me feel guilty for planning to take a yoga class after a full day of work. In the end guilt won and I went home anyway. It wasn't until I stepped through the front door and felt my body aching with disappointment that I changed my mind. I need yoga to function! So. I left Lunis with my mom and when I lingered to get out of the door she told me; "go to yoga but on one condition: it has to be guilt free. If it's full of guilt it doesn't count and then you might as well stay home." I drove to the studio and spent 60 minutes flowing on my mat, fully present, connecting my body with my breath. I set my intention for the week: to move with ease and to leave guilt at the door. What's it good for anyway? Does feeling guilty make me a better person? No! Does practicing self-care? Hell YES.
When class was over I sneakily left my mat in a cubby outside the shala. That way I won't have to go looking for it when I come back for 8am practice tomorrow morning☺️ . .
One hour a day, people. It's worth it. #yogaeverydamnday