yana_amur yana_amur

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Yana Amur  writer / photographer / musician it’s a one-woman show. mental health, art and my wicked sense of humour melbourne🔖fb.com/yanaamur

Yana: growing as a photographer since 1992 😹
Also, yesterday I tried riding a longboard for the first time (not pictured). Oh man, how great it is to be turning back into a teenager.

I think, everyone should know what cake I want for my birthday, if it just happens to be my birthday, of course.
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#laurentbakery #cakes #passionfruittart #boulangerie #dessert

Timtin in a possum wonderland.

Don’t bring me down to your level. Don’t cut my wings.
We’re together, but we’re not the same.

Taking a decent shot from a train window is a definition of happy accidents (plus the great LivePhoto feature).
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#melbournelandscapes #landscape #regionalvictoria #vline #traintrip #sunrise #earlymorning #fog #foggymorning #pinkmorning #australia #australia_vic

Got lucky to catch a few moments of @chrischeney23 of @thelivingendaus workshop at @apraamcos event for songwriters The Melbourne Sessions 🎸
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#thelivingend #chrischeney #apraamcos #creativevictoria

A promo shoot with Beautiful Dark, Twin Peaks themed band. They’re playing at The Workers Club on Jul 22nd, check them out ✨
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#musicphotographer #promoshoot #bandphotoshoot #musicphotographermelbourne #twinpeaks #musicphotography #livemusicmelbourne #workersclub #beautifuldark

NSW was great. Almost inevitably will be moving there, eh 🍯

3/3 A lot of skinny people I know stay that way because they weren’t forced-fed in childhood. It’s not cemented in their neurological pathways to act this way. So it’s not always willpower as it is a HABIT of eating certain amounts of food. In my family there was a habit of eating and drinking in excess: I still remember not even being able to breathe normally after our summer country house feasts that involved kilos of pork kebabs with potatoes and lots of cherries for dessert. It was pleasant to eat but very uncomfortable to digest. Now attending australian christmas dinners I am amazed by how little people choose to cook compared to those weekend extravaganzas organised by my mother ;)
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When I was 18 and decided to slim down from 70 to 55 kg I got used to healthier habits, and they stayed with me for a while, until I gained it all back 5 years later, punishing myself for a certain failure. Depression dictated self-sabotage, so I obeyed. I regret doing that to myself, like I regret acquiring the habit of binge eating when I drink. I knew I was doing something bad to myself, I knew I was destroying all the hard work and will have to do it all again…but I chose to binge anyway, for almost a year. Alcohol helped me numb my common sense while I was doing it. Maybe I wanted my appearance to reflect what was going on inside, idk. I just wanted to be bad and out of control.
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The best thing you can do when you hear the voice urging you to get up, go to the cupboard or supermarket is to simply ignore it. It doesn’t sound simple, but it works. The impulse you get is not rationalised by anything, it’s your prefrontal lobe that turns it into a convincing argument why it’s okay to give in. Instead of helping your instincts take control by arguing with them (most likely you will lose), just acknowledge them and choose not to act on it, because you can separate yourself from these ideas that are not your own. You are in control and YOU choose what happens. Going outside, finding food, putting it in your mouth…it’s much harder to do when you’re aware that it is just an instinct, not a real need like what lower brain makes it feel.
Check out the book, it’s super helpful <3

2/3 The brain loves repeating what it already knows, falling into the rut and doing same actions repeatedly instead of changing the behaviour and acquiring new habits. This is called neuroplasticity: «the brain’s ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections throughout life». We adjust to everything we do regularly to make those actions easier and automatic. This is me writing in Russian instead of English, bc my brain protests against using less convenient language. This is me eating cheese and chocolate when I drink wine at home or not eating anything when drinking at the bar (different setting doesn’t trigger same behaviour). We live in patterns, and changing something that has already been set ‘in stone’ is not that easy. Neuroplasticity is the reason for binge eating. And the answer to it.
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For some people binge eating settles in after repeated diet attempts, when your body notices the lack of food and starts sending signals to fix the deficit at your earliest convenience. It is a physiological reaction, but it doesn’t mean you have to listen to it unless you’re undereating. It’s telling you to find food because it doesn’t understand it was your conscious decision to limit the ration and YOU are the reason of the food deficit.
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Binging is triggered by the memory that you have binged before. The more you binge, the more it is likely to happen again because the brain learns what it has to do when you feel sad / drink alcohol / have been starving. I actually think people eat too much on weed partly because we all heard of munchies. Such substances make it harder to employ the wisdom of your prefrontal cortex instead of following subconscious urges of the ‘lower brain’ that doesn’t care about your looks, image and health goals. It just wants you to be safe from starvation. Weird thing is, if you were force-fed as a child then it’s not even your personal choice to overeat but rather acquired habit to eat when you’re not hungry because your parents taught you to. I had to seat at the table until I finished everything. I fought and cried, but eventually gave up. Along with it the habit of overeating became usual.

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