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Xandria Ooi  Bite-sized inspirations & perspective ❤️ Host, Speaker ✨ KL www.xandriaooi.co FB live chats 🗯: fb/xandriaooi New inspirational video EVERY DAY👇🏼

http://www.youtube.com/xandriaooi

When things at work aren’t going the way we think they’re supposed to, it can be very hard to be muster up the energy or enthusiasm to give our best. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We might spend our time checking Facebook at our desk more than we actually work. 😬🙊
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It’s not that we’re not capable, but we’re just bored, or we feel like there’s no point working harder because no one notices anyway. 👉🏼 But our attitude at work reflects our successes in life. ✨
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For example, we might think that we’re actually pretty awesome at our life outside of work, but logically, if we cannot even psyche ourselves up to give our 100% at work when we’re feeling uninspired, then how do we conduct our relationships when we face challenges or difficulties? 🤔
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We may put our work and our relationships in different boxes, and although they are definitely not the same thing, it is the skills we have in overcoming stress, boredom, frustration and anxiety that overlaps. 🔁
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We’re creatures of habit - if we’re used to giving up and thinking negatively when we face challenges at work, then it’ll be incredibly difficult to figure out solutions to our personal problems, because both situations, different as they are... use the same MIND. 💁🏻
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If you think about it, we spend more time at work than out of work. 🤓 So if we’re not developing the muscles to lift ourselves up at work, if we’re not used to practicing to give our best, then how can we expect to suddenly to able to do that in our relationships? 💪🏼
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We always think we can, because relationships are more important, but it’s not about which matters more to us, because even when we care a lot, we might still not have the skills to turn a negative situation around. ✨
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Exercising the mind is like exercising the body - if we only do it once in awhile, it’s going to be difficult to perform well when it matters the most. 😕 Learn how to give your best at whatever you do, and those skills will help you succeed in every aspect of life, and to be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Your Skills In Work And Life' 🔝 💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd #strangersat47

There are all sorts of people in this world - entitled, ignorant, rude… and overall, just really contributing negativity to society. 😐
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But every single difficult person we come across... is our teacher. 👉🏼 They're showing us what we don't want to be, and also giving us an opportunity to practice all the virtues that we say we would like to embody. 🤔
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It's easy to be nice and rational when talking to someone who’s nice and rational, but how we do behave when we're faced with someone who irritates and angers us? 🌪
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If we're never tested, how do we measure if we're actually progressing as a person?
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If we can look upon everyone we find difficult as someone who is teaching us something about ourselves, then it’s so much easier to not take offense or to let go of anger. 🍃
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However it is that someone behaves, as long as WE do not behave the way do, and not let them affect us to the point of being less kind, less patient and less understanding…then we're meeting our own objectives - and that's to be awesome, in life and at work. ☀️🙌🏻
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So the next time someone upsets us, we’ll just have to remember that it’s our opportunity to learn - what not to be, and what to practice more of. ✔️ Then no matter who we interact with... we'll always retain our ability to be happy, always! ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'How To Be Unaffected By Difficult People' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd

In life, if we don’t know what we’re missing out on... we’ll be perfectly happy. 💁🏻
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We can be drinking a bowl of soup, and be really happy and content, grateful that the soup’s warm and that it fills our belly. 🤗
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But the moment someone sits next to us, happily drinking a bigger bowl of soup… suddenly our soup seems less appealing. 😦 It even tastes less delicious. 😩
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We’re less happy, less content, but our bowl of soup is still exactly the same as it was a moment ago - the only thing that’s different is that now, we have additional knowledge - soups come in many sizes! 🤔 And with this knowledge, we are able to do a very human thing - we’re able to compare. 👍🏼👎🏼✔️✖️
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Knowledge is always a wonderful thing, but at the same time, we can never miss something we don’t know exists. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s not what we have or don’t have in life that makes us unhappy - it’s the thought of what we COULD have. 👀
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If we see our colleague getting a higher salary, our own salary seems unfair. 😠 If we have experienced something better, then it becomes harder to be satisfied with anything less than that. 👉🏼 It’s only because we’ve had the privilege of eating a very good chicken dish that we know that chicken can taste that good - so we’d measure every other chicken dish against that, either consciously or subconsciously. 😅
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If we can experience the most wonderful things in life whilst still having simple tastes - it’ll be so much easier to be happy. 🙌🏻 Just because we’ve had gourmet ice cream does not mean simple vanilla from the grocery store can’t be just as enjoyable an experience. 👉🏼 If we’ve only ever tasted plain ice-cream, we would have zero complaints and think it’s the best thing in the world. 😍
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Comparison is the source of much of our misery in life. ⛈ So if we can stop comparing, and just enjoy any experience that we have, then we’ll be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Life Without Comparison' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #sofitelsentosa

We want to break the bad habits or negative patterns in our life, but sometimes, it’s so hard that we start to feel like there really is no point. We keep trying, and we keep failing. 💔😞
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But are we really failing?
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Sometimes we take 5 steps forward and 3 steps back, and we feel so dejected by the 3 steps back that we think that there's no change. 😓
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But the fact is that we are moving forward, and the change creeps up over us, small enough to escape our notice. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But if we keep taking steps forward, in time, the 'insignificant' progress will all accumulate into a significant change. 👉🏼 You’ll see it is when something major happens in your life and you realize that you're handling it better than you would have before. THAT'S progress. 🍃
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We understand that we have to keep exercising for a period of time and eventually we'll see the changes in our body, so why is it that we become so easily dejected and feel like a failure when it comes to our progress in life? 😲
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When our friend faces challenges, we would help and encourage her, we wouldn’t tell her she should be disappointed in herself or that she should give up on herself. 🌞
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So when it comes to our own flaws, and our own progress in life, we should encourage and help ourselves, not feel like we're a failure or that we're not good enough. 💫
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Don't ever give up putting in effort to create positive changes in your life, because as long as we're trying, we ARE moving forward, and that's the important part. 👣 Believe in yourself, and be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Believe In Yourself' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd

How do you know if someone is worth staying with? ❤️
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Sometimes, we’re sure that we’re with the right person, and other times we’re convinced that there's no future. 🥀😟 We may even have gone through many phases of breaking up and getting back together again.
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Some people believe in soulmates, and some believe that love is a decision. Whichever the case, we all know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. 💫
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We can’t spend our lives wondering if there’s someone better around the corner, because the fact is that there is no escaping the trials and tribulations of a relationship, regardless of who we’re with. 💥👫
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But at the same time, we also have to be really honest with ourselves to examine if perhaps the person isn’t someone we want to be spend the rest of our lives with. 💭 What is our gut telling us, and what is it saying?
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We may love someone, but why are we in the relationship? ✨
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Most of us, on some level, are afraid of being alone. We would prefer to be with a life partner, a companion, a friend, a lover. But having a preference doesn’t mean that we are not capable of being happy alone. 🌞
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All of us are here for a reason, and we all have the strength and ability to be happy with or without a partner. No one can make us as happy as much as we can make ourselves happy. 🙌🏻
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Is this a relationship you want to stay in because you know you can work at it, and more than that, that you WANT to work on it? 👉🏼Don’t be with someone you can’t live without, be with the person you don’t WANT to live without. ♥️
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If we can feel a 100% okay being alone, even if it’s for the rest of our lives, then we know that if we’re in a relationship, it’s because we want to be there. 🙏🏼 It’s a small, but very discernible difference.
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We can’t know or control the future, but what we do know is that as long as we are aware and responsible for our decisions, then what is meant to happen will happen. Love well, but LIVE well, and be happy, always! ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Should I Stay, Or I Leave?' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd

If you and I are very different, then which one of us is more normal? 🤷🏻‍♀️
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We all understand that every single person is different, yet this understanding vanishes into thin air the moment we interact with someone who is actually different from us. 😫
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We don't think that we're always right, but we do believe in truths and realities, so between two people - someone has to be right, and someone has to be wrong. 🤔
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If you see a tree in front of you, and a blind man tells you it's not there, who is right and who is wrong? Which reality is the real reality? 🌴❓
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For people who have vision, we assume that we all see the same thing. 👀 But although our eyes may capture the same image, the way we interpret those messages can be extremely different. 💭 It's like two people can look at the same photograph but they each describe it completely differently. ◾️◽️
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All of us see, but WHAT we see depends on so many things. 👉🏼 We use concepts that we already have in our heads to understand something, concepts based on our past experiences, our culture and our upbringing. ✨
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This is the main reason why we keep trying to explain our concepts to people, and why we get increasingly frustrated when they don't seem to see what we think is obvious. 😤
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The truth is, we may never be able to see what some else sees. But that doesn't mean we have to keep proving our point to them or completely disregard them. 🙌🏻 The thing is, when we understand someone, we can no longer be upset at them. But when we DON'T understand someone, we also can't be upset at them, because how can we be upset at something we don't understand? 🤔🤔
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There’s no such thing as ‘more normal’. ✖️ People either have similar or very different concepts to us, which affects whether they see something the way we do or not. 👁 If we can accept that our norm is not the universal norm - then it becomes so much easier to be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Why Don't You See That You're Wrong?' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #timberlandmy #moderntrail

Humans beings are strange creatures, we can say one thing whilst communicating very clearly that we mean another, especially when we’re upset. 💬✖️ Contrary to what people think, sulking isn't just an action undertaken by women - it’s not gender specific, it’s just that the act of sulking manifests differently with men and women.
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Often, we sulk when we're unable to communicate our message across to our partner. ✋🏻
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When we get upset with our partner, we give them the silent treatment. 👀 We ignore them, we don’t pick up their calls nor speak with them. 😾 That doesn't help the problem. 👉🏼 Sulking takes us further away from our objective, because even if someone gives us the attention or validation we seek, they might be doing it because they feel that they have no choice. 😰
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When we give something to someone we love out of fear, or panic, resentment almost always builds; and communication never gets better, which affects the quality of our relationship. 😔 This is why we can love someone, yet feel so desperate when things aren’t going well; so much so that we can love yet resent our partner at the same time. 🚶🏻‍♀️
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When we sulk, we’re essentially seeking some sort of acknowledgement, validation or even a need for love. 🤔 We want the person to show us and prove to us that we matter to them, because in our mind, we assume that if someone loves us enough, they’ll try their hardest to make things better. 👉🏼 Instead of sulking, we can develop alternative methods of communicating what we need from our partner, methods that give us better results than the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. 🌬❄️
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Love is unpredictable, and relationships are one of the hardest things in the world to navigate, but as long as we don’t allow our negative emotions to cloud our reasoning, then we’ll be able to talk about problems that arises, and still be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'I'm Not Talking To You' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd

Can we experience negativity and pain without suffering? 😢
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Someone I love passed away after two and a half months of battling cancer, and though all that she said that even though she was in pain, she wasn't suffering. ✨🙏🏼
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No one is immune to pain, no one is immune to difficulties or challenges, but what we all have in common is the ability to build the strength and the courage to experience negativity, to experience pain, without anger, resentment or suffering. 🖤
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How we see happiness becomes so important when we're facing challenges. 👁 We know that we can choose to be happy, but sometimes happiness be confusing. 😨 How can we be happy when we’re ill, how can we be happy when we’re in pain?
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If happiness is defined as something we feel, like pleasure and satisfaction, then it will be difficult, if not impossible to be happy when we're faced with challenges. 😔
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If happiness is a state of mind where we accept anything and everything in our reality.. then maybe happiness simply means peace, born out of the lack of resistance. 🙌🏻
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Contrary to what the word implies, acceptance isn't giving up or giving in, it simply means that we stop resisting so that we are able to move forward. 🏃🏻‍♀️ It is only through acceptance that we can remain calm, and strong. 👉🏼 Ironically, we fight better with acceptance, because otherwise we're simply resisting, not fighting.
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Fighting simply means taking the wisest course of action for our peace of mind; because that's the only thing worth fighting for - our peace of mind. 🍃 No one is without fear or worry when we're faced with challenges, but courage is taking action in spite of fear. 🙇🏻‍♀️
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It's always easier said than done to take the action to be happy when life is difficult, but it begins with how we define happiness and our state of mind. 💯 No matter what happens, here's to hoping we can learn to be at peace, and thus, be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'The Strength Of Inner Peace' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #contentment #peaceofmind

Love or Hate. Accept or Reject. 👉🏼 The concept of having to choose between one or the other that we must choose between one extreme of ‘good’ or the other extreme of ‘bad’ puts us in boxes; we're either a good person or we’re a bad person. 😕
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But in truth, we’re human, and humans have flaws. Instead of trying to be a good person, we can instead work on being a more aware person. 🙋🏻
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Good or bad lies in one extreme or the other, but being aware puts us in the middle, where we’re able to walk the middle path and fully accept ourselves yet not excuse ourselves. 🍃
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There is absolutely no way we can work on our flaws if we cannot love ourselves, because there’ll be too much guilt, too much shame and too much insecurity to be able to see clearly which direction is forward. 🌫 We think we’re improving but if we cannot accept ourselves... all we’re doing is struggling to move forward. 😓
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This is why even as we try to be a better person, as we try to be a successful person, we get frustrated with ourselves. 😔 We see a bit of success and we’re proud and overjoyed but the moment, we experience a downturn, we’re absolutely devastated. 😥
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This only happens when we’ve linked our identity to what we do or don’t do, when we’ve linked our sense of self to how amazing or terrible we are. 👀 So whether or not we love ourselves, whether or not we accept ourselves, depends on so many things that it’s volatile. 🌪One day we feel okay being who we are, and the next day, we feel almost worthless. 💔
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And this is where we can walk the middle path - where we allow ourselves the space to be really proud of who we are yet always being aware if we’re slipping into arrogance. 👁 In the middle is where we’re able to love ourselves completely yet at the same time constantly work on being aware of improving and growing. 🙌🏻
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We don’t have to choose between loving or hating ourselves or accepting or rejecting ourselves. Walk the middle path. Accept yourself without excusing yourself, and be happy, always! ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Accept But Not Excuse Yourself' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #lovebonitomy #lbootd #poshnailspa #strangersat47

Why is it that only when we've experienced sorrow that it is easier to appreciate moments of simple joy and contentment? ✨
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Why is it that only when we've experienced tragedy that it is easier to feel grateful for our health, for every moment we have alive? 💫
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People say 'Live In The Present', but there is hardly a present before it immediately becomes the past. 🌬 Every moment we experience is quickly gone, so much so that every new moment we experience IS the future. 👉🏼 We don't so much live in the present than we are given the opportunity of the future. 🍃
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Every moment is an opportunity, and it is so sad that the motivation to appreciate our moments is at the highest when we have very few of these moments left. 😔
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We experience this with the people we love - when we have only a few moments left with them, we think back to all the past moments that we've taken for granted, or the moments we didn't even notice we had because we were distracted or busy. 👀
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When we wish for more time with the people we love, it’s almost always in regret - because we usually only wish for more time when we've run out of time. ⌛️
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We also experience this ourselves - when we are suddenly unable to do something, we begin to miss the smallest things, like walking or sitting without pain. 😰 And when our days are limited, we might even miss the privilege of having a bad day. 👉🏼 Because a bad day means we still have days. 🙏🏼
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It’s not that we have to be cheerful or positive, but that the commitment to living each day with positivity and good cheer is in itself showing the appreciation we have for our life. ☀️ It represents our acknowledgement that no matter how things are, every moment we have is important enough for us to not waste it. 🙌🏻
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Many things can happen to us that make life difficult, but whether or not something is bad depends on our perspective. 👁 When there are only a few moments left, even the bad ones are something to be thankful for. ✨✨ And this reminds us to be happy, always. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Appreciate Even The Bad Days' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #marissabwebb #marissawebbnyc

When we're upset with someone, it's very clear to us that they're wrong. 😡
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To that person who's upset with us, it's very clear that we are wrong. 😯
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There are always two sides to every story. It's the most simple truth in this world, yet on a day-to-day basis, we find it so easy to determine that our perspective, our side of the story, is the REAL story. 🗣
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And this is where the source of all our anger and judgement towards people come from - because anyone who insists on a different story is just plain false, and wrong. ☠️
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What we dislike even more is when someone behaves like they're the injured party, when WE are the one who's been wronged. But who's right and who's wrong simply depends on who's telling the story. 🤔
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We are always the hero in our own story. We wouldn’t write a supporting character for ourselves, and we certainly wouldn’t be the villain. ⚔️🛡
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Even in movies, the villains have the notion that THEY are the good guys, and that whatever actions they take are completely necessary and justifiable. 😼
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Just being aware of this helps us with the frustration of "I can't believe he's like that!", "I can't believe she did that!". 👉🏼 People don't set out to do villainy things to us, people do things that end up hurting us because in THEIR story, there are many reasons that make their actions make sense. 💭🗯💬
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Constantly being aware of how there are two sides of the story helps us not hate, not judge and to let go of anger, because even if we don't agree with someone else’s story, we know that it is a story THEY believe in, as much as we believe in ours. 👁‍🗨
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Sometimes, being right comes at the cost of our own happiness. And sometimes, even when we are convinced we are right, there is a chance that we could very well still be wrong. 😬
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The only thing we know for certain is that the best way to win in life… is to live each day absent of anger, to be at peace, and to be happy, always. ❤️ #behappyalways #timberlandmy #moderntrail #scotland

What if it doesn’t happen? 😧
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What if it happens? 😀
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What if I fail? 😩
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What if you succeed? 😊
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My mom always me that if you want a guarantee in life, buy a toaster. 🙈 The only certain thing in life is that it’s full of uncertainties. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We would like control how everything turns out, but the truth is we can only plan to the best of our abilities, and the universe will determine how they’ll turn out. ✨
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Kids go through what-ifs. “But what if she doesn’t want to sit with me?” “What if they laugh at me?" 😭 University students go through what-ifs - “But what if I don’t like my job?” “What if I work for 10 years and then realise I want to do something else?” 😰
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Adults go through what ifs- “But what if he hurts me?” “What if I have to start all over again if we break up?” 💔
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That's true, what if all of the above happened? Well, it'd be... okay. 🤔 Or maybe even interesting. Or extraordinary. Perhaps what we're all afraid of is regret, but that fear is the same one that stops us from experiencing the other 'what-ifs' - what if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams? What if you learn and experience things you had never thought you would? What if you meet the love of your life doing all those things? 💫🌈💖
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The thing about the future is that it can go either way. 👈🏼👉🏼 We can't control it but we can't be afraid of it either. All we can do is be as informed as possible, work our butts off, be a generous human being & know that we tried our best. There's nothing BEYOND trying our best. 🙌🏻
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There may be regrets, but there may also be some unexpectedly amazing surprises. There may be those awful what-ifs coming true, but there may also be all those amazing ‘what-ifs’ coming true. 🌞
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There are no guarantees in life, but it’s better to have tried and known, then to never have tried and forever wonder. 👌🏻👌🏻Most of all, we can't let fear hold us back from being alive and enjoying the freedom of making our own choices. ❤️
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Click on link in bio to watch 'Dealing With The 'What-If' Dilemma' 🔝💋 #behappyalways #timberlandmy #moderntrail #edinburgh

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