If only you could see the life of someone living with anxiety.
The blur of the chaotic world. The thoughts on repeat. I’m taking a deep breath but this anxiety has taken a toll on me. The feeling of hands wrapped around my neck, the clump in my throat. There is so much air around me, why can’t I breathe?
Trapped inside my mind, the walls caving in. Thoughts keep racing at high speed. I want to shut down my brain, still the world. The more I try the faster it spins. These thoughts have taken control over me.
My chest is heavy, my head is full. My air is diminishing, not long before it’s gone; how will I breathe? I try to distract myself, anything to be free; I bite my nails, crack my fingers, chew gum, distract me please.
My body is exhausted, but my mind is revving at top speed. I want to sleep, but thoughts and worry prevent me. I’m so far gone, my mind isn’t there. It’s lost in the future, far beyond reality. I am living years ahead of me going over scenarios which may never be. I want to live in the present but instead the futures got its hold on me.
My heart is pounding out of my chest and I’m sweating profusely, yet I’m freezing cold. I need to run, but there no escaping. How can I leave, when my mind is the one imprisoning me?
I wish you could understand, I wish you could see, but then my body would be covered in scars. I didn’t choose these wounds, go easy on me.
Anxiety isn’t something you can visually see but it’s very real. I had my first anxiety (panic) attack at the age of 10 and since then it has been something that has affected my life and I have to continue to work on.
Things I have found helpful👇🏻
1. Seeing a therapist
2. Journaling and writing
3. Breathing exercises
4. Physical Exercise
5. Anti-anxiety medication (prescribed by a medical professional)
6. Limiting caffeine and not drinking alcohol
7. Eating healthy
8. Reading and podcast
9. Being open about it and letting go of the guilt and feelings of being ashamed.