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vanessacarlisle vanessacarlisle

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Vanessa Carlisle  Queer poly SWer writer, sex and gender educator, MFA, PhD, podcaster, showgirl https://tinyurl.com/yayxrzpm


We went to the Hummingbird Garden at Kenneth Hahn Park and took these kissy pics for your anti Valentines disgust. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I just got to talk about the #sexworker rights movement and how trafficking laws impact sex worker communities on a webinar. I’ll post a link when it’s live. Grateful for the opportunity to teach, to listen to questions and concerns, to engage the dialogue that motivates change.

Old friends made a new person! And she’s got a really positive attitude about hanging out at Jerry’s Deli for hours. Good sign, kid. You’re gonna enjoy life.

#femmenight 😘👠🖤💋💋 w/ @saree.not.sorry Thank you so much @everybodylosangeles and @theejasminedanielle!

The sidewalk is private the street is outlawed the airwaves are corporate and the food isn’t grown where you live.

My grandma said she likes talking to me. Made me SO happy. She also told me that I should enjoy myself as much as I can. I pass this wisdom on to you. 😊

Happy Birthday @kittybodhi! May your milkshakes be legendary and your adoptees be plentiful. ☺️

Casual hyperreal in #DTLA today in prep for gentrification’s birthday party aka #nightonbroadway.

Happy birthday to #angeladavis who has never given up the dream of #liberation, who has held the line for prison abolition through years of blowback, who taught me and so many so much about race, class and gender, who fights still, adapting to each new era, each new struggle. Thank you for every word you put on the page and speak aloud in service to human dignity and freedom.

Yes, it is.

Both humbled and comforted by the truth in Kelsky’s analysis here. I am waking up to the stories I believed about what a creative PhD meant for my future (Work of the Mind myth) and learning about how to create the real life I actually want. It’s kind of hellish here in the luminal space, where the debt and self doubt are constant companions. Good thing I’m working on badass projects with badass people. Good thing each and every dying dream births something truly juicy in the flesh.

Be nice to sex workers. #benice to #sexworkers. BE NICE TO SEX WORKERS.

Podcasting the f out of the #WomensMarch in #DTLA with @itsdannycruz and @gebthompson

WE ARE PODCASTING THE FUCK OUT OF 2018 and it means we need slimy facial self care to get our replenishment and restorative fruit scents. Thanks @kittybodhi for helping the team! Listen to On the Dresser and get edutitillated! Link in bio.

#tbt my early femme training. I’m 2 years old in this photo STOKED on curly hair I think I’m getting. I want all my loved ones to see me smile like this a LOT in 2018. (My moms so cute right?)

Today I met a person who self identified as butch and in her 60s then told me she hated the word “lesbian” because it sounded ugly to her. I felt uncomfortable hearing that and wanted to defend the word lesbian and everyone who loves the way it feels to say it. Luckily, @cutiesla was really a safe and beautiful place for me tonight with this.


I recently submitted an article to Oxford University Press about James Forman, former executive director of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, and pictured here left of #MLK. SNCC was originally funded by MLK, Jr.’s org, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. Forman and King had a deep mutual respect although for Forman, King’s desire to work with the government was eventually a friendship and organizing dealbreaker. Forman believed that liberation had to come from the oppressed people, through simultaneous diligent cadre building/resistance and community healing, not from reforms granted piecemeal from the white supremacist power structure. Forman was targeted by the FBI, beaten and incarcerated over and over again for his political work in the South 1960-1965. He wrote a book called “The Making of Black Revolutionaries” that has deeply affected my life, beliefs, and work. He also wrote a pretty badass story that had a #sexworker in it.

Good = when you can end your day swimming in slut swag from Boston’s @slutcracker and @sugardish who painstakingly embroidered a “wicked queer” patch for you to wear in LA and @itsdannycruz is there to take a picture that “says everything.”

#femmequeer #queerfemme #sideshave #updo #elevatorselfie It’s 10:30PM and I’m sitting in gridlock on the 110 freeway that is completely inexplicable except for the hypothesis that it rained today and there might be a Lost Angeleno still on their knees in the fast lane begging the Sun to forgive us for all the people who didn’t wear black at the GGs.

I make these “Lumpy Dolls” out of socks that lost their mate. I make them one at a time, for a specific person, with my heart in every stitch. They don’t have any silly face to tell you how to feel, and they have super cute little butts. They give really sweet hugs when you need them. This one is named Peanut. #iwokeuplikethis #cuddles

Christmas Eve, 2017. My nephew helps me feel sweetness even when I am grieving. I spent a chunk of that family party crying in the other room. 2017 was a year of a LOT of loss and change, and Aug-Dec. really kicked my ass. I post very little when I’m “going through it” for a few reasons. One is that I am not currently seeking advice from SM and people tend to send advice, painful questions, and even extra blame for you when you publicly discuss sadness, depression, loss, PTSD, etc. Or they perceive you as coercing care from them by posting about your difficulty. Another reason is that I do want my SM presence to be, on the whole, an uplifting, creative, smart, and activist one. So I’d rather do my tough personal work away from SM unless I have something specific to share that might help others. On the other hand, I don’t like participating in an SM culture that requires you to be killing it and winning all the time. Right now I am simply in it, and doing my best to heal and grow how I need to. I am supported by loving friends and family, mentors and peers. I am doing healthy practices that guide me through painful time. I am working on projects that I will be proud to launch soon. Thank you to those who have been offering me care in the midst of my changes, who have faith that I will emerge from this set of challenges with even greater purpose, vision, beauty, idk, something something feeling better soon and so on. 🤦🏼‍♀️ok thx bye. (Happy New Year. 🎆)

This morning a family member told me she admires my courage to keep loving. What else would I do? What else is worth doing?

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