One week ago I stood here, looking out at the peaceful sea and sunset. There was a beautiful and overwhelming response to my last post. Thank you (thank you!) for taking the time to read and comment. Since I haven’t written in a while I’m still in the process of sorting out my thoughts on ”what subject matter should be in what post” and so on. As the first week of January is moving towards an end I find myself shifting between different emotional states.
The transition from 2018 to 2019 was very emotional for me. Besides dealing with anxiety and facing the facts of a body exhausted from work, I made a few difficult decisions regarding my personal life last year. As the year was coming to an end I found myself contemplating about them a lot. Deep down I know that the decisions I made were the right ones but no big decisions seem to come without having to face, endure and reconcile with the plethora of mixed feelings connected to them. So that's what I’m doing now – enduring and reconciling. I have decided for this year that I should try to step on the brakes instead of running away from or rushing towards things. I’m not in a state of making big final decisions regarding my future life right now (but oh how I wish I was!) so this time is all about stepping down, enjoying a little more time off and, as the days become lighter, trying to engage in meaningful activities while longing for spring.