All he has...and all he needs in order to achieve maximum biscuit extortion...is that relentless, yearning, hypnotic gaze.
His eyes grasp at my heartstrings like steel claws, from which escape is impossible, resistance is futile, and refusal of biscuits is unthinkable.
His technique...which I refer to as the “Oliver Twist” from the hungry young boy asking for more food in the Charles Dickens novel... is amazing in its brutal simplicity, and impervious to all my attempts to defeat it.
The fee I must pay for passage is three biscuits. Not one, not two, but three. That fee is non negotiable and final. I have tried dropping a single biscuit on the floor in order to break his gaze, but his willpower is resolute and he ignores the biscuit and continues to maintain eye contact and hold me under his spell until such time as he hears the required three biscuits hit the floor.
Even the “thirdsies” trick is of no avail, for he sees right through the chicanery of breaking the biscuit into three pieces and he can easily distinguish the difference between the sound of an entire biscuit hitting the floor versus the sound made by a mere biscuit fragment.
Faced with such an overwhelmingly superior foe, I must give up my useless struggles, admit defeat, and pay the toll in full!
By Scott Hodges in Newberg, Oregon