traveljerzgirl traveljerzgirl

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Traveling Jersey Girl  Traveler | Writer | Spiritual Nomad βœŒπŸ’•πŸŒŽπŸ‘£πŸŒ± Next adventure: Wherever my soul guides me. #GLT

This time last World Cup I was watching the final game Germany v. Argentina in Italy. Unfortunately, Argentina lost. But hopefully this time they'll win!! #messi

*NEW POST* www.travelingjerseygirl.com
Anthony Bourdain's Death Makes Me Angry

Some of you may or may not know I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for years. I've come a long way from not having anxiety or panic attacks every single day like I used to. But every so often it pops up. And today is the day. I forgot how much panic attacks suck balls. You feel like you're dying or going crazy in those moments. My body tenses up and I just want to curl into a ball. Eventually it will stop and I know that but those moments can feel like hours. In stressful times, I reach out to family and friends which is always a comfort. But what I've learned over the years is solitude is what my body craves to just connect and tune in. So I'm going to take a break and do that. I don't know when I'll be back to social media. We all need to disconnect to reconnect. βœŒοΈπŸ’—

Something I wrote 4 years ago that still resonates with me....
How do you get something you really want?
You have to want it bad enough. Eat, breathe and live that goal. Make it apart of your everyday life.
I built a vision board, I did things that reminded me of Switzerland and or Europe all the time. I meditated on it everyday during my commutes to school, so much that I would forget where I am and not hear the chaos around me.
Dreams do indeed come true. They are not impossible. Stop being scared, stop worrying, stop saying what if and just do it. Yeah it is scary at times but what you want is right on the other side of fear.
If someone told you 1 million dollars was on the opposite side of the fence, wouldn't you jump over it and grab it? Same thing with your passions and dreams. Get enthusiastic, life is way too short to live a life thats not true to you.
Now go!

#spiritualnomad #travelingjerseygirl

MOOD:

Feeling lots of self doubt and fear in regards to my book. Will it be successful? What if it isn't? My dream and passion is to write and travel full time and at times I fear it will never happen. Seeing anything related to travel breaks my little traveler's heart. I can't even watch Anthony Bourdain's travel show anymore without feeling the pang of wanting to be out there exploring. Yet, I'm stuck behind a desk doing something I don't love anymore. It feels like I'm the rope in a tug of war of "playing societies rules" and desperately wanting to be my own boss, travel and write. And as sick as this is, I'm even afraid of my book being successful and wonder if I can still maintain the balance I so desperately want when it comes to my life and career.

I waited until today to write this message, 50 years since Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was killed. Jacqueline Smith has been standing outside the civil rights museum for 30 years protesting it's existence. She believes it's taking away from people's jobs and it should be a working hotel like it used to be. She said we shouldn't live in the past and it's too painful to see.
I stood there with a black woman and a young white boy who may have been 12 or 13 years old. The black woman next to me was arguing her point of how important it is to have this museum. She said racism is still here and people need to see what could happen, what black people fought for and how we're still fighting some of the same battles today.
I observed quietly listening to everyone's point of view. The black woman asked Jacqueline if she has ever been inside? She said no. We both look at each other and chuckle. I said how can you say all these things and you've never been inside? Jacqueline says, she doesn't need to because she can look at pictures on the internet. We both said, no it's different when you walk inside. The @ncrmuseum did an amazing job educating people and keeping MLK Jr's spirit alive.
The young white boy said, "my daddy raised me to be racist and told me I can't have black friends." I stood there shocked and frozen for a moment for what I just heard. He continued and said, "but I said no. I told my Daddy I want to have black friends and I wanted to come here to learn more about the Civil Rights Movement. I'm glad this museum is here, we need to have this here to teach people." Still shocked by what this young boy said yet impressed he took the initiative to stand up to his daddy's ways and wanted to come to the museum to educate himself. He walked out of that museum humbled.
We all walked away from the conversation as we all agreed to disagree. I had a moment to speak with the young boy and told him I was proud he came here. He said to me that they don't teach the civil rights movement in his school. I said your daddy can have his views but you don't have to. He smiled and agreed and reiterated how important this place is.

Yes and yes!

Speak your truth.

Film rolls found during the protests.

As I walked into this bus you can hear over the speaker the interaction the driver had with Rosa Parks. I sat in the back of the bus to fully embody what it must have felt like. My eyes whelled with tears. People like Rosa Parks spoke up during a very chaotic fearful time. The courage it must have took to sit in that seat took guts. As I sat in the backseat I was deeply humbled and reminded of my white privilege. We must continue to speak up against atrocities and stand up for civil rights.

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