therustedfleisch therustedfleisch

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Ezra Rust Fleisch  Don't kill if you can wound, don't wound if you can subdue, don't subdue if you can pacify, don't raise your hand until you've first extended it. -WW

A lovely end to a lovely summer ๐Ÿ’›

Bad luck or aesthetic?

To the *second* best dad ๐Ÿ‘Œ Happy Father's Day ๐Ÿ’™

"I want you to help me live" - Shoya Ishida, A Silent Voice (Koe no Katachi)

Clouds: a series from home โ›…

I've a pretty bad last two days. My flight was canceled and I had to go back and stay in Toronto another day. I didn't really mind that, I can survive the hustle and bustle of chaotic life. What I found difficult was the emotions of saying goodbye, having a finale to my second year of university, and then not going. It's difficult to explain, it's like all the emotions I had were out of place. My body feels like it should be home right now, but it isn't. At the same time, I'm sad to leave all my dear friends here in Toronto, but I haven't actually left yet. I'm in this weird, aimless in between that I have never thought about before. Basically, airports are weird and incredibly emotional. I'm homebound now, so hopefully all will be OK.

Toronto is pretty dope, I'll miss it. Most of all, I'll miss my friends. I finally understand what they mean when they say "home is where the heart is"

I miss Japan and @emiyuu0905
Japan was such a beautiful eye opening experience for me. I've loved that part of the world for most of my life, and finally going there was a dream, but it made me realize something. I can't simplify my love for something to a couple distinct things, like anime or samurai or ancient Japanese culture. I love all of it. Just like I love so many other cultures. I guess it can be seen as fickle that I am loving so many things with the same intensity, but that that's just who I am. I guess in some ways I relate to Santa Claus from Rise for of Guardians. I am lots of things and I have lots of layers, but at my centre I have wonder of all things. Anyway, long story short I want to go back.

โ€œOnce in a while when I wake up, I find myself crying. The dream I mustโ€™ve had I can never recall. Butโ€ฆ the sensation that Iโ€™ve lost something, lingers for a long time after I wake up.โ€ - Kimi No Na Wa โœจ

Take me back ๐Ÿ’œ

I guess this is a throwback, I'm feeling nostalgic.
I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was sunny outside, it was December 19th, 2013. My family and I had rented bicycles to ride around the Angkor complex just outside Sien Riep in Cambodia. It was about midday, and we were entering Angkor Thom, where they had filmed some scenes for the Tomb Raider movies. I was awed by how the rock felt like wood. Not so much in how it physically looked or felt, but more the emotional memory embedded in it. So much had happened to these stones, so many lives had passed through them. The blending of roots with these stones was beautiful as it combined old and new life I guess.
Anyway, we were walking through a part of the temple where I saw a tall pillar that everyone was ignoring. I stopped and looked at it because it had a design that I had seen at other temples and I liked. It was then when I spotted a small hole in the side of the pillar. Maybe hole isn't the greatest way to describe it, it was definitely meant to be there, but no meant to be noticed. I had only noticed it because my hands had been on the stone. The opening was big enough for me to fit inside, so me being the impulsive person I am ducked my head inside.
It was dark in there, dark and musky. I felt like I was Nausicaa sitting on the Ohm shell, watching the afternoon spores take flight. It was fairly cramped, but homey. I was awestruck, in a quiet way. There is a sharp, thin slice of light that careened down from an opening in the top of the structure, a piece must have fallen out. I look up towards the light and there it is. Staring at me. No anger, no curiousness. Just staring at me. This owl, half awake, was staring at me, as if I was something. It's so difficult to describe in words the whole experience, but I stood there for a good 10 minutes, looking up at this Owl. It was a beautiful moment in my life. I then took a couple photos, then called my family to come look.
In life, there are many moments that change one's life. We expect these moments to coincide with big decisions we make, or with changing thoughts. This was not one of those moments, this was quiet moment.

In this time of terror, I hope we can hold fast and hold tight to one another โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’ž

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