I was left with an abundance of photosets as old as mid 2016, some of the most amazing images I was ever involved in creating. And what of those little secrets yet to be shared? With the passage of time, it’s as though they never existed at all. But they are as real as you or I - the art I poured my soul into, the memories and experiences captured, but frozen in ice. At some point my former primary collaborator decided nothing we created had importance or value anymore and the work was never edited or returned to me. I begged for them and I begged for them to matter. They were discarded from priority completely, and the raw files all returned to me at the very end. A perfect metaphor - all the labor, every role dumped on my shoulders, giving everything in return for nothing at all. Difficult endings may be tragic on their own, but there is an unusually deep sorrow from wounds to artistry. I am still processing the ways to define this painful feeling. Most days I try to edit and share this work, this stunning work I was so proud to create. Usually, I just being to cry and then close down the software. It’s as though I have two broken hearts. My one heart has since completely healed and for that I am grateful. It has been an active process and a year-long struggle. My artists’ heart, however, still breaks again each time I try to resurrect these works. What should have been proud and stunning gifts were only a unique, unprecedented way to rob even more from me - to have given my artists’ soul in exchange for a box of darkness.
Never before released photosets coming soon - click the link in my bio to subscribe and download .