You turn ten today. I remember your newborn days like it was yesterday. I remember your newborn nights like it was yesterday, too. Me pacing the halls, bouncing you like crazy, both of us crying. You crying because you were, well... a baby. Me crying because I needed refining- the selfishness of my heart was astounding. Then, after many sleepless nights of pacing and rocking, I sat with you fussing in my arms at 2 am... me feeling sorry for myself... and I realized what this motherhood thing was about. It was about being poured out for the sake of someone else. Daily. Hourly. Forever. Reminds me so much of the gospel, except my “pouring out” is imperfect and I need refining over and over. You gently prepared me to serve you and your siblings. You were forgiving when my selfishness snuck back in. You are worth all of the sleepless nights. Thank you, sweet Ella, for being the vessel God used to wring me out. You are truly a blessing.