thelizcarey thelizcarey

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Liz Carey  I was told there would be cake

What kind of black hawk down situation are you involved in if back burners are even part of the equation?

This is my favorite in LA when it’s gray. Other favorites include being anxious, checking to see if I left the oven on and making lists.
How are you ?

Me while I read most texts, dating, trying to open Tide detergent zipper thing, 2016-present, Amazon box sizing, just had my phone and keys in my hand and now I am crying ( 3 times per week)

I can not wait to get home and talk politics with my family, maybe a dash of religion and then we can ALL talk about why this is the fourth year I am still single. Jazzhands.
Check out @paperrebel in my story today...they have a card for EVERYTHING! You are welcome. 🍾

Just got my hand stuck in my own mailbox for 17 minutes. My neighbors are always incessantly talking to me and of course today I live in quiet town. Didn’t have my phone. I just walked in and choked on an old sour patch kid. Wednesday 10:13 am
Let’s do this 💃🏻🕳

Me behind my fancy iron gates of my home. I am essentially a real housewife. I live in a guesthouse, have to work all day, can’t pay bills, have no huge white SUV, I can’t have white wine cuz migraines, am not a wife,single mom ....I feel like if I applied myself I could be. I have plenty of prescription pills.
Good Monday everyone.

My cat (a rescue as in I SAVED his life) is inside of my Christmas tree. I don’t think I even want to drink with him anymore. BUT,if you have cats that are cool or hang with local cats get them this cat wine for the holidays. Also cat Valium is regular Valium just FYI.
Happy Holidaze

Can I wear this to my ex boyfriends wedding ?

It’s 3 am it’s @kellyoxford birthday. You are lucky if you get two people TOPS to get through this shit show. Yeah, she’s got crystals all over her but FINE. Being a single working mom is legitimately insane. She still has time to approve all my date outfits, edit questionable texts and help me parent. I couldn’t do it without you. I am so glad you were born and have a Canadian passport. Stick with the ones that show up to pick up your kid and pick you up . ♥️

I am trying to make this slightly more clear to Santa that I am available for pickup. Last year there was no delivery and or pickup. As everyone has said “make a list of what you are looking for in a man and be really specific”. I did this, then you mail it to Santa .... correct ?
Photo courtesy of @idiotsivan

Ok so can we try this for TODAY.
Can we not all please scream in the comments about politics. It’s #givingtuesday today. I think it would be impossible to not find one thing to do to help someone today. You don’t need to “post” about it. You don’t need to even tell anyone. You could check in on your neighbor and see if they need anything. You could donate 5 bucks to a charity. You could spend 5 minutes meditating about something. Let’s just all please for the love of god try our best for one day. What’s the worst that could happen ? Check my story in about 5 minutes. I am going to post some ideas ....but truly go drop some dog food off at shelter... this is not rocket science ♥️✌🏼

Me dropping all Saturday plans because it’s pretty chilly out and need to finish series 6 of Friends later.

@destroyinstagram 📷

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