To My First Love:
It’s been a crazy 3 years. You married the love of your life, moved back home, and are working on your 2nd and 3rd career. Not to mention babies are only a blink away, which is your life’s calling. It’s been the happiest 3 years of the last 25.
But I would be lying to you if I said it also wasn’t the hardest. You see my love, I’ve neglected you greatly the past 3 years. I’ve been mean to you everyday and allowed myself to treat you horribly. I’ve given up on you everyday. From the moment I woke up and looked at you in the mirror, I called you the nastiest of names and often found myself disgusted and sick to my stomach with you. I go back and forth with you daily and I know your tired. So am I. But no matter how mean I am to you, everyday you wake up and try to find strength and hope in me. I’ve let you carry that burden too long, and now it’s time I fight with you and not against you.
Today marked day 1 of me loving you truly again. Today was the start of me telling you how beautiful, intelligent, and hardworking you are. Today was the day I took the disgust and anger and turned it into fuel to power us through. Now it would be easy for me to say that never again will I be mean or hurtful to you, but again that would be a lie. But what I can promise is that for every negative thought I think, I will give you 10 more positive. I will apologize to you and tell you “we’ve got this!” Because Katherine Hagan, we are winning. You and Me. You, Me, and the love of our life @soleilhagan . You, Me, and our crazy boys. We are winning!
Love the first person who believed in you and last,