Ok I’m gonna bring it back to 17 years old for ya. I didn’t realize that my past is so motivational for you guys. I just posted that house I lived in. I was happily living there in the beginning because this I where I was before that. Sagamore Psychiatric Hospital. I spent a year here. ————————————————————
I went insane from sexual abuse at home but my mind kept blocking it out. I was constantly being triggered but I didn’t know why and I lost it. Tried to kill myself and luckily I failed. I got transferred 3 times from private hospital psych wards until I got a bed in this state facility. It was hands down the worst year of my life. The abuse in there was even worse. It ended up getting shut down at one point years after I left. Idk if it’s operational now or not. This is the part that makes me have to pause whenever I try to write my memoir. Maybe I can give you guys bits and pieces.
That basement I complained about living in was HEAVEN compared to life inside the walls of Sagamore. If you look it up, there’s only one picture of it. No pictures of the inside. But I remember those disgusting yellow cinder block walls. I lived in the E unit with the thinnest nastiest green carpet in the main area. Made my feet smell like corn chips 😂 I got jumped in there by the whole staff at one point because a staff member touched my personal belongings. I lost it and broke her thumb and that just set my stay there back a few months. When they said they got me a permanent bed at Pilgrim for when I turned 18...that’s when I knew I had to get the fuck out of there. ————————————————
I stopped fighting, I stopped trying to consume cleaning products to get high, I took my meds, kept to myself. I did my therapy sessions and started exercising. I was deemed stable enough for release 6 weeks before I turned 18. ———————————————