A lot of my old clothes, sizes XS & 00, are major triggers for me. I try to fit into my XS button ups, it's extremely fucking tight, and I'll try to talk the mirror into making the blouse fit by sucking in my tummy and looking at myself from different angles. Still nope. & now I just wasted 45 minutes looking at a stupid blouse that I KNEW didn't fit.
FUCK THAT NOISE. 🌹
When I first started seeing my therapist, I knew it was a perfect fit because she used the following analogy: "We are going to unpack some shit. And I mean like, open your closet and pull everything out onto the floor & dance on it. We're going to look at each item, and see how it makes us feel and if we really need that one. Now, after we unpack everything, we are going to have a huge ass mess in the middle of the floor. It's going to be overwhelming, unavoidable, and it may seem hopeless at times. BUT, we are going to clean the fuck up." 🌹
Not only did that resonate deeply with me because I LOVE organizing, but also because clothing has also been an issue with me. I've always been triggered by getting ready in the morning, especially when I was thin, because of the BD. I had (have) so many factors distorting my perception of how I look, I honestly have no clue what the fuck I actually look like lol. 🌹
But to some degree, we all have a skewed image of what we look like because we're all so damn in tune with everyone else. Everything is comparative, we think in terms of I'm thinner than... I'm curvier than... I'm shorter than... 🌹
So if you're holding onto a shirt that fit you in 10th grade (me) like "omg I just want to be this size again, maybe if I just BLAH BLAH BLAH" you need to toss that ish like byeeeee ✌️