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theangrytherapist theangrytherapist

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Johnkim  ▪️Licensed therapist ▪️Author ▪️Speaker ▪️Co-founder JRNI Seek nectar. Love hard. Resist nothing.

http://bit.ly/theangrytherapistpodcast

Is he coming back because it’s convenient or is he choosing to come back? .
Big difference. I’ve struggled with ambivalence, not being sure, so I come back. And it rarely works out. Because the return isn’t stemming from certainty. It’s stemming from curiosity and curiosity is not enough to build a relationship. If you come back, it can’t be because of guilt, loneliness, or not being sure. Yes, I believe in playing things out and to live without wondering. But there has to be certainty in round two, more so than in round one. It will show. There is no hiding it. And people can feel that shit. So if you’re thinking about going back to something, trying again, ask yourself where it’s coming from. Or if he wants to come back to you, make sure he is choosing to, because he believes. Because he had a realization and now wants it. Not because he’s lonely. Not because it make sense. Not because it’s convenient. Convenient is a cul de sac. The big question that must be answered is what’s different this time? Also, what do you think about acting skill? Pretty amazing right.
#awriterslife #theangrytherapist

My hope for this episode is to challenge your definition of beauty. I try to knock out two of these a week. If you enjoy them, subscribe, review, tell a friend. Click my bio link for your shot.

My parents are Korean. These are our conversations. Or at least how I remember them.
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DAD: If you dream shit or fire, go buy lottery ticket.
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ME: Shit or fire?
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MOM: Shit or fire is good luck.
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DAD: Shit everywhere or house burn down. Very good luck.
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ME: I’ve never had a dream about shit or fire.
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DAD: That’s why you not rich.
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ME: What if you keep dreaming that you’re falling off things?
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DAD: That mean you need new mattress.
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#awriterslife #theangrytherapist

I think sometimes when we get stuck, we forget about all the shit we’ve been through and how far we’ve come. We forget how many trenches we’ve climbed out of. We’re all so focused on learning and growing and being better, we forget that we do have tools, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Because we forget to look down. It doesn’t matter how slow you’re moving, as long as you’re moving forward, you’re growing. Evolving. Developing. Trust your journey and that you know more than you think you do. Trust your instincts. You’ve earned them. Listen to your intuition. It knows things. Fear will always distort your knowledge and wisdom.
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Sometimes you don’t need a rebirth or significant life change. Sometimes you just need to keep leaning forward.
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#awriterslife #theangrytherapist. @pharosechopark

Infidelity is about compensation. There is something lacking in the relationship and / or ourselves. Obviously if the relationship is in trouble, there is room for drift and disconnect and suddenly you’re at the wrong place at the wrong time and do something you will regret and feel shame about. But infidelity also happens in relationships that are good too. Because there’s something lacking in us and it’s a way of not facing that. Neglect yourself long enough and you will try to find “compensation” (which is actually running away from self), in all different ways. Food. Drugs. Work. Approval. Validation. Danger and excitement. In someone else. In a moment. Sometimes it’s our way of wanting to feel something, anything. Patch work for holes in ourselves. Sudden success can put a black light to what’s lacking in you. So can hardship. So cheating isn’t always about the other person or the relationship. What ever is missing in you, what ever is lacking, is something you must fill yourself. You will never find that in someone else.

When you first learn how to do double unders, it’s like a 16 year old boy having sex. When you realize it’s actually happening, it’s over. .
Yes, that’s my opening.
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Now let’s talk about flow and staying calm in chaos. Double unders remind me a lot of life. Basically when you tense, you break. There is a rhythm to double unders as there is life. If you stay relaxed and out of your head, you keep the rhythm and flow and suddenly you’ve done a hundred. But if you concentrate on every single jump and count, one hundred feels like swimming to the moon. So what does it look like in your life right now to stay calm in your turbulence? What does life rhythm and flow look like? How do you get that back? What state do you need to be in? What negativity do you need to cut that makes you - break. Who do you need to surround yourself with or not surround yourself with?
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For me, staying calm means feeding and growing positive feelings and positive relationships. Starving negative thoughts and beliefs and cutting out negative and draining people creates the space to be calm through storms. But there’s one word that puts me in that state very fast. Serve. Serve at a high level. This doesn’t mean forget about you and your goals. This means to use your gifts to impact others. Focus and strengthen them not only for your story but others. In a nutshell, stop making it about you. That’s how you become a prism. A vessel, a messenger, a teacher, a a catalyst. When you don’t make it about you, you panic less. You have more courage. You flow. #awriterslife #theangrytherapist

My parents are Korean. These are our conversations. Or how I remember them.
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DAD: I love it jew.
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ME: You love jews?
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DAD: I love it you!
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ME: You don’t need the “it”.
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DAD: Okay, goddamn. Come fix tv control.
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ME. I’m not driving all the way over there to fix the remote control. Switch the batteries. Remember last time?
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DAD: It not battery. Mom put in freezer.
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ME: Why don’t you call Brad? Why do you always call me?
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DAD: He have real job.
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ME: I’m busy.
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DAD: We come to America for you and bread...
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ME: Alright whatever I’m coming!
#awriterslife #theangrytherapist

Things to give less fucks about.
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Yesterday’s “fails”
What / who your exes are doing
Your weight
Other people’s story of you
Likes
Follows
Where you’ll be tomorrow
Who you’ll be tomorrow
Why you just ate that
Your parents’ dream for you
“Success”
Where you should be in your life
Your age
All the hows
People who don’t value you
Superficial friends
Getting dirty
Old dreams that don’t line up with your truth
Who you were
What you had
What could have been
The “one that got away”
Who’s going to love you
Who’s not going to love you
Everything you don’t have
Wrinkles
Old definitions of love
Gossip
Getting fired
Rejection
Failure
Money
Debt
Shoulds
Whatever you’re not feelin’
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That shirt, click my bio link or go to www.theloyalist.com/theangrytherapist.

Brendon Burchard failed at writing. Failed at online courses. Bills were stacking up. One late night he looked over and saw his wife sleeping under their unpaid bills. And that was it. That was his defining moment. That image he saw. He never wanted his wife to worry about money again. He wrote more that night than ever before. Within 18 months he wrote a book and it became a New York Times Bestseller, and shortly after he made 4 million dollars through his online courses, something he failed at a couple years before.
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You have to make a decision. You must go “all in with your identity”. He said to himself. “I am going to be a great writer.” “I am going to be one of the greatest online trainers there ever was.” There is ego and there is certainty. Only one comes from insecurity and fear. The other from your fucking soul, because whatever you’re passionate about is ingrained in the fiber of who you are. You have no choice. You can’t run from it. But you also can’t believe you just follow your strengths and that’s going to take you to the promise land. You have to get so obsessed, that’s all you do. It’s the only way 16 hour days don’t feel like work. “If no one thinks you're crazing you’re not operating at your outer limits of your potential.”
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You have to lose your minds, guys. Because it’s in our minds that we are afraid and care what others think. It’s in our minds where ambivalence and doubt lives. You have to go crazy. “Determine the feeling you’re after. Live into it instead of waiting for it to fall on your lap.”
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What’s your defining moment? Have you made the decision to be the best at what you do? Not just mediocre. But the best. Fuck your logic. It doesn’t have to based on anything else but your passion, determination, and a whole lot of hard fucking work. What’s your defining moment? Chances are, you already had one. You’re just not listening to it. Get obsessed with what you do. There is no other way. Or you’ll always just be mediocre.

You know one of those days that feels like just another day but when you look back, it was pivotal, the first domino in something greater. A new path. A new chapter. The next level. I don’t know if you know but Im a founder in a wellness company that trains life coaches, something I started in my underwear many years ago after graduating from therapy school and believing that there has to be a better way to help people help people. Today we have graduated over two hundred life coaches we call Catalysts. That company used to be called SHFT. But today, it’s called JRNI. Everything starts with a shift. But that shift puts you on a journey. The internal expands to the external. Our community isn’t just online. We are expanding into retreats and workshops and partnering with other amazing companies, all with the mission to change the way we change. Click on my bio link and come ride with us. Or go to our new addy, www.jrni.co. One of the greatest misconceptions about self help is that you’re meant to do it alone.

1.19.18
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I haven’t vented in a while. And sometimes we need to let shit out. Just because I’m venting doesn’t mean I’m in a dark place. I’m super grateful for my life. This is about self expression and letting yourself feel. That’s how we let shit go, by allowing ourselves to feel. I didn’t sleep well last night so this is how I feel today. And it’s okay. Every time I write My Fucking Feelings I get concerned emails which is sweet AF but I do this because I think everyone should. Less about the content. So here goes my lid. I’m tried. Tried of not sleeping consistently. Tired of the same coffee shops. My little bubble I live in. Tired of talking. Tired of people not talking. I’m tired of wanting. Im tired of the same conversations with my parents. My dreams feel like they’re in syndication and I’m watching the reruns at 3am. I’m tired of the same dates. The same thoughts. The same playlists, the same Fleetwood Mac songs as I lie in bed with my hands folded across my chest like I’m in a coffin. Radiohead sound like elevator music these days. Night walks with my feet on tracks. Feeling nauseous in the morning like I’m pregnant. That would be fucking amazing if I was pregnant! Tired of having weird thoughts like that. But at the same time, I don’t want some crazy adventure. I’ve already done my Eat Love Pray. Not interested in another Hero’s Journey. Tried of slaying dragons, I want to ride one now. I don’t need another man trip. I feel like I need a new drug but I don’t know what that is.
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Sometimes we get to a place where we really don’t feel like we have anything to prove anymore. We’re being carried by the current of our lives. We’ve let go of the rock. It’s an interesting feeling. At first, relief, then calm, where you notice things you haven’t before, feel the water, see the sky. It’s still there. Your fears are sleeping like children in the next room. #awriterslife #theangrytherapist
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You should write your Fucking Feelings and tag me.

Here’s today Daily Dose. Pantsless since 2010.
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#awriterslife #theangrytherapist

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