I was on 12 Rx drugs when this photo was taken. The last two that made the triumphant 14 - Valium and Xanax - were added in January, just a few months after this snapshot. My body was screaming at me. I used to wake up with a feeling of complete dread every day, as I continually faced an unsatisfying, uphill, and depressing New York City lifestyle that seemed impossible to escape. A typical week day in my early twenties would have found me struggling to get up around dawn, scrambling to find clean work clothes, and racing to make the first of half a dozen buses, trains, and subways I took to work at a listless job that neither excited nor inspired me.
At night I’d knock myself out on a muscle relaxer or a sleeping pill or a tall glass of booze, and I would say a silent prayer that the emptiness would be gone tomorrow, or at least a little dulled, so that maybe I could cope.
My life could not be more different today. But you should know that less than a year after this photo was taken I was completely sober for the first time in almost my whole memorable life. I was in my car on a road trip out to California, happy, content, fulfilled and about to embark on the most life changing journey I could think of. This is a reminder that no matter where you’re at right now — either struggling to find your place or swimming in success — it’s just a moment. And by improving on ourselves every moment, we create improved actions which turn into improved beliefs which turn into better habits which turn into an incredible life. I had no way to know when this photo was taken that I’d use my experience at this job to become an Alternative Medicine author. Or live in California. Or start a company. Or sing or play music. But every moment at this job had a place. Instead of seeing failure as a setback, let it inspire you to do better next time. Think of it this way: now you know what NOT to do. After only a short while, it becomes clear that indulging in old, harmful habits begins to disrespect and undermine all of the hard work you’ve done on yourself! 🙌🏽💕💫 #WILDhabits