I wish this was me tonight + I cant believe how much chemo KICKS YOUR ASS 🤷♀️ its actually mindblowing to think how STRONG that MUST BE to be able to KILL CANCER and yet we as humans are so unbelievable strong to be able to have that put in our body and yet are still able to somewhat function.. having said that, this last session has hit me really really hard ! Since Monday ive been bed ridden mostly (unlike me )as the whole time ive been having chemo ive been able to put myself into sixth gear and just try struggle through ===========================
But i have a few regrets and upsets playing on my mind ============================ i cant stop kicking myself for missing my sons after school activity this week ( his beavers hour ) and tommorrow morning the scouts and beavers and cubs are doing their optional life saving badges in Naas pool and ive cried so much today panacking that im not gonna feel well and strong enough Still to take him 😢 cause its not just him ive to take and look after.. he is easy. It's trying to keep my 4 year old stubborn, strong willed son out of the area while his brother does this.. the heat in swimming baths is always too much even on a good day never mind when you feel light headed and beyond weak.. so i just dont know what to do 😣I DO NOT WANT HIM TO MISS THIS AND MISS GETTING HIS LIFESAVERS BADGE.. Ive let him down already once this week and he took it SOOOO well. I CANT do it again !!!! However im in a conflict with myself 👇👇👇
My father reminded me that if im not well & over exert myself and get more week & sick because im pushing myself when i know im not strong enough yet to do most things, then i must listen to my body. If i do take my boy to earn his Life saving badge 🏅🏊♂️✔♂️🏊♂️✔ then all im doing is prolonging my recovery but i REALLY wanna get him to the pool at 9 am BUT im NOW reminding myself of his ending words... "your kids need you healthy jade, if you have to miss a few things but you get well, is that not gonna be better for them long run, to have a mummy who is well and recovers faster " My 4 year old got his 1st party invite 4 Tomorrow & I HAVE to get him to that.