Thank you, Anon.
I was strolling down a narrow lane to my afternoon classes. The heat was beating down like a hammer over my head, relented only by a light breeze that was blowing from the north-west. All of a sudden, stars began to grow on the periphery of my vision. Soon, they were all over the place. I felt light-headed, the heat was no more to be felt. The din of the surroundings had died down. It was almost as if I had transitioned to a higher ground of reality, more pleasant, more sublime. And then I was dragged down back to my pristine state, in a ground-shattering moment of epiphany, staggering to retain my composure.
I had got used to being seized by such spells of ‘giddiness’, and honestly, I kind of enjoyed them. However, one night, when I was having one of my other-worldly moments again, I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I could feel what seemed like electricity surging through my body. I looked around desperately for help, but I was all alone in my hostel room, and I barely had the energy to let out a squeak, let alone a shout. When I had come around a little, I made at a trot for the night canteen and grabbed a bar of chocolate. It was the end of a six-day long fast during which I had consumed only water and juice. The melting chocolate in my mouth felt like what rain must feel to a parched desert. It was just another kind of orgasm.
The aversion from eating set in at the beginning of my second year in college, and only grew worse. I started by skipping meals, moving quickly to skip food on entire days. Just like that, hours turned to days and days became weeks. I began to enjoy the feeling of staying hungry and foolish. At times, I would get drunk and indulge in drugs to heighten the effect of my light-headedness, but I would scarcely eat. I had reached a point where I liked purchasing my favourite bar of chocolate and giving it away to a dog or a friend right in front of my eyes, the torture of keeping myself away from food giving me some sort of wild pleasure. (contd in comments)
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