So it’s past 3am, and I’m just getting to bed. And yes, part of that is #nightshiftproblems, but the other part is #depression. Somewhere between making barbecue pizza 🍕 with Olivia last night, putting Elijah down for his nap repeatedly (for THREE HOURS), and Darrell coming in the door from work, my day just unraveled on itself. I was fine... until I wasn’t. That’s just how this animal works.
It’s an emotionally crippling thing, sometimes. It can creep in slowly like a fog, or hit you like a tornado🌪 , determined to take out anyone in its path. It can last a little while, or it can grip you for weeks. All of a sudden, you’re the worst mom in the world, a complete failure as a wife. And you’re physically exhausted, even in pain. Luckily, I have better tools I use to help now than I did 4 years ago when my very existence felt touch and go, and thank God for taking better care of my health.🍎 Good nutrition goes a LONG way, and exercise like this has become my therapist. And yes, the 90’s music helps.😉 But seriously... I don’t share this to start some sort of pity party, or to get any congratulatory pats on the back for thinking I’m cool. I share it because I know I’m not alone. That there are other mothers out there who struggle like I do some days, and no matter how hard you try to keep it together, sometimes it just falls apart. I share it so you know you are NOT ALONE. I share it because I believe there is still a social stigma that runs alongside buzzwords like *depression* and *mental illness.* I share it because there are tools 🔨 besides (or in addition to) medications that you can add to your tool box. I share it because I believe it needs a face.
It could be a neighbor. It could be a friend. It could be a teacher. It could be YOUR CHILD, your brother, someone who served your country. It could be that mom who’s sometimes funny and most times seems like she has it together.
It could be me.
#Thisisdepression #YouArentAlone and #NeitherAmI