Nothing feels quite right today.
My body feels heavy.
My words aren’t coming out right.
I’m getting angry.
Everything is louder.
The air feels closer, tighter,
it’s harder to breathe.
I haven’t had these feelings for a long time. I’ve been going about life enjoying it, sure sometimes I felt tired. But most of the time mentally I was feeling good, positive. But the real work comes in on days like today. When everything seems a little harder. And searching for the point of it all isn’t quite as easy as it usually is. Even teaching yoga today I felt like i was talking to the students through a wall of bubble wrap, nothing was clear, could they even hear me? Was I even looking at them?
Is it okay to share this stuff? I always feel like nobody wants to be brought down, and there’s always a worry that I could remind someone of these feelings they have, manifested in their own life. But the stigma around mental illness is something we need to get rid of. So I’m telling you about my day, sorry if it’s dark and heavy, but that’s life for me right now. Moving helps, writing helps, sharing helps, and maybe it doesn’t just helps me, but it might help one or two of you too 🙏🏻