I was distant from the church and spent a long time caught up in the wrong environment. I remember always telling God I would make it through this phase one day. I remember thinking one year, as new years approached, that I wanted to spend NYE in church to try and start the New Year with God, as opposed to the way I'd normally spend it. My friends, who I love very much and are my brothers told me about an event that they wanted to go to and I told them that I wouldn’t be coming because I wanted to spend it at church. However, they bought me a ticket and I succumbed to peer pressure and decided to go. That night, and the couple that followed turned into a long series of events. The whole time I remember constantly thinking that I had made the wrong decision and God was showing me what my life would be like if I was to stay on this path. He was asking me which path I wanted to take. With things that I had seen & gone through… it was a no brainer! The next day I decided to escape and gather my thoughts, so I went to a monastery and spent my time reading books and praying and I remember on the first night, a strong feeling overcame me & I knew God was helping me, and that this phase was over. I remember waking up and feeling happier than I had felt in a long time… and I knew that was it! That’s not to say that I don’t slip up but He’s definitely corrected me and put me on a better path.
The most difficult thing was friends. Your friends are like family and I think the hardest thing about it was the few months after. I was feeling good about everything and I was getting upset that no one else felt the same and was going their own way, but I wanted to go on a different path. I guess it’s hard when you’ve lived a certain way for so long and when you want to go on a different path, everything you know is that one way, and when you try to go against that, you sort of feel like an outcast. It’s good to go to events like these youth meetings but that’s what I’m talking about, those are the times when I do feel like a bit of an outcast… I don’t know if there are people that feel the same way… I’m sure there are, but with God’s grace I will continue to try. #HOYIC #YIC #LIC