✴️"It's Relative"✴️ If I have to smile tomorrow, and laugh like I haven’t laughed in eight million years,
I’ll cry all night long.
Let me steal a line from my favourite song.
“I’ll count my losses as I let them go.” If making hand waves in the air to my favourite song keeps me sane from a week’s insanity,
I’ll play that song on repeat.
I won’t keep quite even if I could .
I’ll blabber all the happy things I can think of. “My favourite actor has dreamy eyes, if that song were a person I would hug it all day long,
I want a tattoo for my 19th birthday and purple confetti strewn on the floor, my shower is my mic and my bathroom floor my stage.” Of course my thoughts run haywire,they’ll get stuck in the labyrinth, that tear with a name will make its reappearance.
But today I’ll think of tiny,trivial,chirpy things.
If drinking lemonade from a yellow capped mason jar lightens my mood,
I will fill it to the brim.
I’d swirl around my room like a little girl on her grand 5th birthday wearing her favourite dress and sparkly tiara.
I’ll tap a catchy beat on every hard surface i find as i walk by.
I’ll call my best friend and talk to her about all the nonsensical things.
I’ll tell her how much I hate olives on my pizza.
I’ll tell her cheese fries is the best thing that ever happened to humanity.
I’ll tell her I hate her for not keeping in touch with me.
I’ll flood her inbox with all the new clothes I bought a week ago just to grab attention.
I’d stay awake to watch the sunset slowly grow into a starry night,
like a giant holding out fireflies in the dark.
I’ll paint my nails shiny green and not burgundy or black.
I’ll watch 3 episodes from my favourite sitcom and try to learn all the catchy dialogues.
And then,now, I don’t know how much of these the emptiness in me can hold.
If I can’t sustain them,then I’ll hit the loop :
I’ll watch sand slip away from my fingers,
as I run out of all happy memories to numb myself from the sad ones.
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