I remember this day.
I remember this day where I had the utmost confidence in myself and in Jesus. I felt I could conquer the world - that I could take on anything life threw at me because I knew God was on my side. I believed in myself and believed that God could conquer all for me. Two weeks later I would be starting my dream of becoming a dietitian and I was ready.
But what I wasn’t ready for was what is happening to me now.
And that’s the feeling of unbelief.
Unbelief in my capabilities. Unbelief in my timeframe. Unbelief in trusting that God is going to get me through this. Unbelief that working my job 25-30 hours a week on top of full-time college will be worth it one day. Unbelief that one day I’m not going to be stuck in this pit hole I’m in.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been in those situations that hurt our faith. We’ve all had our moments of unbelief and have fallen into the hole of self-destruction and self-pity. Sister, you are not alone through this struggle. Believing is not being positive all the time and lying to everyone about how you feel, but it’s about being real with yourself and God. It’s knowing that your situation is NOT okay, you ARE suffering, but God WILL bring you through it. It doesn’t matter if it’s tomorrow or two years from now, God Will lead you out of the storm. Unbelief is truly the most dangerous sin, for it could turn anyone’s heart of gold to a heart of stone. Keep fighting this, Sweets. Keep reading your bible, keep praying, keep thanking God through this difficult time, and remember to just be real about what is going on in your life. We can’t always change our situations, but we can always change our attitudes towards it all.
Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not go faint.” One day you will soar and not be stuck on the ground like you are now - One day this will all make sense - And that one day will come when we focus on Jesus and not our problems.
Unbelief can conquer us, or we can conquer unbelief.