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© Don't get used to this tatse of your cup of sorrows..¶

My mental defense mechanisms are almost ironclade. Almost. I've been "diagnosed" with BPD, many years ago as well as just standard depression, but neither of those doctors were really experts in mental health and even though I think they were trying to help, their diagnosis felt a little generic. Whatever it is, it is definitely very real. I'm quite proud of the way I handle my own head these days though, without the aid of medication, (personal decision, not an anti pharma stance) but a big part of how I make it through most days is mostly just balls and determination, and an unhealthy dose of suppressing some emotions. It's really not a way I would suggest for most people, and when I talk about "my way" for dealing with depression, I try to make it clear that my main point isn't "do it like me", but rather, "I found a way that works for me, and you can find a way that works for you." I've found it to be the best way for me.... But when I do "break down" I usually get it together pretty quickly, and then spend more time than the actual episode beating myself up. I keep it together so well, and for such long periods of time, that I often feel like I have no buisness speaking about these issues, but when it falls apart, I honestly think I might be more fucked up than I think I am. During those times, I just don't want @natasha.welch to see me. I think it's out of some sort of embarrassment, becuase I enjoy my role as the strong one, even though I know she would never judge me for having a moment of weakness. I had one of those little break downs today. My "trigger", as it almost always is, was several very small things that I let pile up over a couple of days and turn into a big things in my head. I typed this little poem out while I was in the basement with my weights, getting my head straight. I've been typing this caption for the past few hours. I'm really only posting this because I usualy don't write about these things until after the fact, when I feel like I've "won" and I can say something inspirational. I know I'll be fine tomorrow, or at least what I consider fine, but the weakness is fresh now, so I wanted to share. Continued in comments...

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Written By: @_mohit_0702 ✍️
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Lost in the ocean of dream,
Yet to be found, i scream.
Out your name with the hope,
You'll give me a hand.
Barren sea bed and broken i am,
Buried in the grainy sand.
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#poem #poetry #poets #moon #gloom #disdain #poems #poemsporn #wordporn #wonderwoman #writersnetwork #word #wordgasm #mirakee #poetsofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetryisnotdead #poetsofig #poemsofig #poetscommunity #poemoftheday #ttt #like #sand #indianpoet #india #instagood #instapoem #instapoems #instagram

Perfect isn't out there/

Grumpy face
fucked up days
experimenting every way
hoping my journey
would find a stay
life's trailing behind
my face wouldn't say
but I am gonna make it fine
#poem #poetry #stories #tales #travel #me #poetsofinstagram #instagood #wordgasm #poetsofig #girl #writersofinstagram #writersofindia #poetsofindia #friends #summer #quote #writer #writing #beautiful #penbound #instadaily #love #photooftheday #happy #roads #follow4follow #like4like #friends #followme

dance with me
hold me close
our bodies pressed
swaying
to the rhythm
of our heart beats.

spin me around.
make me swoon.
tonight, my darling
immortalize our love
let's leave our footprints
on the moon. ~sarah abidi
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(photo by: @kat_in_nyc)

Yearning.

Keep dancing to your own tune! ✨. Follow @being1nsane @being1nsane @being1nsane For amazing original quotes

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