First morning in new house, 45 days after Jonny's death. The birds are tweeting. It is peaceful. Seth and Iz woke up excited and full of smiles. I still have the keys to our old house for another week and have moments of horror that I've left Jonny behind. But he's here, and he would have loved the peace and the light.
We have been through so much as a family in the last 6 weeks; the shock of losing Jonny, the raw pain of his funeral, the trauma of the police investigation into his death - and more shock intertwined within, the unutterable stress of moving house - particularly before I was emotionally ready to leave Jonny's room, the despicable actions of some who have sought to cause more pain and suffering...
But then conversely, the total joy of Seth's birthday, seeing his face light up at his special presents from us all - especially Jonny's - watching him and Izzy be enveloped in love from our friends who have held us close and formed an impenetrable fortress around us, realising how much we are loved and cared for, the sheer fun of Seth's party (32 4 year olds....!) and seeing them all dressed in something Batman-y to honour Jonny, and being gifted someone very special who has come back into my life at exactly the right time and is taking care of me too.
Finally running, being able to actually run a sub-58 10K 43 days after Jonny's death. Being able to get out and feel the air on my face every day and glide. Sometimes using my grief to power me, sometimes having a bloody good cry on my route. And the support I have had from all of you has been overwhelming. You have brought so much love and light into the darkest days and I am eternally grateful. I love our running community ❤
Where there is dark...there is still light ❤🦇❤