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As frightening as the unknown journey of death may seem, the more present danger is just remaining a shadow of myself, frozen by fear, when all the vibrant beautiful bounty of my potential is waiting for me to simply move forward, one foot and breathe at a time. I inhale and step.
Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia, diagnosed in September 1997.

from @fitter_healthier_stronger - #WhatCancerTaughtMe
In April of 2015, at age 45, I was diagnosed with a rare form of liver cancer. On April 24th I had successful surgery to remove the tumor.

My cancer diagnosis taught me one very important thing. It taught me that I was loved. At the time of my diagnosis I was struggling with low self esteem and the feeling that I mattered very little in this world. But to see my girlfriend well up with tears when the doctor told me. To have my children hug me upon finding out. To tell my best friends and hear them choke up. I suddenly realized that I was loved. At the scariest moment of my life I suddenly felt happy and alive. That's what cancer taught me. And as of today, I am 14 months cancer free!

#FitterHealthierStronger - #regrann

"Never knew a man I needed until I met God!" @blackqueenaffirmations #WhatCancerTaughtMe 2014vs2017

People have been asking me #whatcancertaughtme tonight. The truth is, right now, I'm not seeing the lesson. I'm angry AF. I'm confused by how to proceed, how to live, what will help, what might fail. I went out to dinner tonight, a rare outing in the midst of a tumultuous chemo journey. And everything I did and tried was a massive calculation. This chicken sandwich? I wanted it, but I didn't trust it. Probably a sign of things to come. A. Chicken. Sandwich. I have trust issues over a chicken sandwich. #breastcancer #cancersucks

I love this one. He has given up so much to keep me going through this cancer thing. He always has time for me, will do anything to make me feel better, holds me close when I cry and makes me laugh so I can smile again. I love him. #soulmate #whatcancertaughtme #love 💝

@we.cancervive That I would meet some of the strongest people in the world🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼!!!#whatcancertaughtme


"Never knew a man I needed until I met God!" @blackqueenaffirmations #WhatCancerTaughtMe 2014vs2017

"None of us get out of life alive, so be gallant, be great, be gracious, and be grateful for the opportunities you have."
Jake Bailey’s inspirational end-of-year speech as head boy at Christchurch Boys’ High School was delivered from a wheelchair just one week after he was diagnosed with the most aggressive of cancers. Jake’s cancer, and that speech, became the start of a bigger journey that continues today. In this remarkably honest account of his illness, treatment and recovery, Jake shares all that the experience has taught him. .
This is a staff fave this month – an absolute must read! Even if you're not a huge non fiction reader, give it a go, we think you'll love it 💕

#LifeWithCancer - Me Two years ago at one of my favourite places: Monsal Head Waterfall. Two years ago I was having chemo. Two years ago I went into heart failure due to chemo. Two years ago I'd had major surgery and had radiation therapy, as well as hormone therapy to come. I still lived, laughed and made memories.
#newnormal - Since my diagnosis life hasn't stopped. Its just different now. I have to pace myself now. The slower pace isn't all bad. I can't climb mountains or run marathons but there is lots I can do and I appreciate everything more. I take more risks emotionally and I am happier now than ever because of it.

#whatcancertaughtme - The small things are the most precious. Making memories, for myself and those I love and care for is now my goal. The dishes can wait. Work and money do not have to be the focus in life.
#breastcancer #cancerrealtedfatigue #cancerstage3 #spoonie #lovernotafighter

Jake's Book arrived today and have hardly put it down with less than 50 pages left. The emails Jake's mum wrote to him are tear jerkers for me.

Jake's descriptions of procedures etc brought back lots of memories of the things I learned when my family member Joy was in hospital fighting Burkitt's non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Jake has great advice for anyone supporting someone with cancer such as the best present you can give someone going through chemo is a soft cuddly blanket cause the person really feels the cold and when you lose that much weight/fat/muscle.

I remember Joy really being perked up by little things such me bringing in a little picnic lunch, some NZ chocolates, or paint her toe nails, her friends helping her apply make-up and a doctor commenting on how well she looked.
I also remember how hard it was for her to remember things and how upset she would get when she couldn't remember things - even her last name or date of birth which she was asked every time a doctor or nurse visited her to take bloods, check results (numerous times every day). Sending all those battling cancer, and those supporting a loved one who is going through the fight of their life, a huge virtual hug. I hope you have an extraordinary support team. It's an emotionally and physically trying time and good support makes a massive massive difference to you.
#tomorrowisntguaranteed #simplepleasures #dowhatyoulove #havenoregrets #jakebailey #whatcancertaughtme #youneedteamwork #teamwork

"대한민국 최고 프로 뮤지션들(@taezpiano, @guitarist_jane) 노는데 어디 감히 퇴물 듣보가 같이 놀려고!!??"라는 제목의 동영상을 만들어 보았습니다. 그냥 어릴 적 친구네 대문에서 '친구야~ 같이 놀자~'하는 기분으로 연주하고 찍어서 섞었습니다. 해놓고 보니 많이 부족하네요. 연주도 첫 번째 테이크라서 몇 번 더 했으면 좀 나았을텐데... 심지어 드럼영상 둘이 싱크가 살짝 안맞는 것 같은데도 불구하고 그냥 올려봅니다. 다시 할 시간이 없을 것 같아서요.
연주와 편집에 대한 애정어린 조언과 질책은 언제든지 환영입니다. 모쪼록 즐겁게 감상해주세요.

#jane #guitaristjane #taez #재인 #양재인 #태경 #양태경 #친구들 #friends #musicians #hereiamagain #imovie #pip #iphone6plus #bloodcancer #survivorfromcancer #leukemia #sideeffects #whatcancertaughtme #livetodaylikethereisnotomorrow #godspell #rehab #rehabilitaion

Two years ago I decided to go and have chips for breakfast by the sea because why the fuck not #fuckcancer #whatcancertaughtme #breastcancer #cancer #chemo #baldy #Lovinglife

열세번째날 아점. 괌에서의 마지막 식사는 투몬에 있는 베트남음식점인 Tau Bay Pho. 무뚝뚝한 첫인상의 아주머니 때문에 살짝 걱정했는데 왠걸, 너무나 맛있습니다. 주방장 아저씨는 중국분이신듯 했어요. 중식베이스의 기술로 만들어내는 베트남 쌀국수와 치킨과 볶음밥과 고이꾸온. 윤석이가 괌에서 먹은 식사 중 가장 만족스럽게 먹은 식사였습니다. 엄마아빠도 맛나게 먹었어요!! 가격까지 킹왕짱!
#윤석이 #윤석이네 #안윤석 #괌 #guam #tumon #taubaypho #beefsoupnoodles #chickenfriedrice #goicuon #iphone6plus #bloodcancer #survivorfromcancer #familytrip #leukemia #sideeffects #whatcancertaughtme #livetodaylikethereisnotomorrow

열두번째날 저녁. 괌에서의 마지막 저녁식사는 Lonestar Steakhouse로 결정. 예약을 하면 호텔로 셔틀버스가 옵니다. 어마어마한 맥주잔 크기를 한 번 봐주시길. 본인립아이 스테이크와 오징어튀김과 함께 괌에서의 마지막 밤을 즐겼습니다.

#윤석이 #윤석이네 #안윤석 #괌 #guam #lonestarsteakhouse #boneinribeye #cajunfriedcalamari #iphone6plus #bloodcancer #survivorfromcancer #familytrip #leukemia #sideeffects #whatcancertaughtme #livetodaylikethereisnotomorrow

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