For #WellnessCheckWednesday I wanted to change things up a bit and speak on how Rape Culture is detrimental to our mental health. ——————————————
I was raped on April 23rd of 2017 while I was drunk and unresponsive. The problem wasn’t me being drunk, the problem was that he did not have consent to touch me because I had not given him consent to do so.
In his mind, he didn’t believe it was rape because he didn’t throw and hold me down. That is not the only way Rape should be looked at. If he/she didn’t consent, that is rape.
I even said that had this happened to our daughter, he would’ve considered it rape and he agreed. But because it was me, I guess it didn’t matter nor count for anything. ——————————————
This is where things get tricky. I wasn’t alone with him. I had a girl “friend” accompany me on the trip. So how is it possible that I got raped with another person being in the room? I’m still trying to figure that out myself.
I only know I was raped because he recorded it and accidentally sent it to my girl “friend”. ——————————————
I was made out to be a liar through this entire situation, ignored by the military and it all ate at me slowly. I attempted to take my life back in April by ODing and I contemplated on taking my life Saturday the 27th. Death isn’t the answer. If I die, who will make sure this gets justice? Who will make sure my babies get every bit of love, self-love and support they deserve? Who will genuinely care for my people the way that I do? ——————————————
The damage is done but don’t let that damage destroy you. Dealing with things of this nature will have you wanting to end it all and get it over with due to the pain but don’t let it. Some people still won’t believe what I’ve been through because I don’t “act” like it but some of the most hurt people cope by uplifting others. I’ve been through what I have because I’m a healer and a messenger. Learn from my experiences please and watch who you call friend.