I didn't stay like that for more than a second, for I couldn't risk my rationality to kick in at that time.
With the sun already below the horizon and the atmospheric dust barely holding my bid of not going down with a familiar feeling, 'fear of missing out', I climbed to the top in a jiffy, which was after I had expressed my disappointment to my compatriots about the height (or as I thought, the lack of it) of the Jump point.
Right before when I was there at the edge, I knew, knew it was fear, which I never thought existed ; I had always been comfortable in water even though I didn't know to swim and fear of heights was never that much of an hindrance. None of my mental exercises worked, and by the time I was there feeling stunned by the height.. I had to jump, I simply didn't have any options, I didn't want this to haunt me for a big part of my introspection. And so it was, a jump without any vision memories, a jump when for the first time my mind and my body were together not in control; I couldn't waiting for the water to come to me I was reaching for it with my toes and with my thoughts, and that adrenaline rush.. It was incomparable. The cold glacial water, when it hit me, I was an absolute wreck, in a good way, but hardly able to make my way to the shore. I came back, rearranged my thoughts and decided to do a rematch, I wanted to savour the jump this time. But it was the same story- I jumped, I was not in control, and didn't remember most of the things about it. When the flash memories were gone, I then got to know how cold I was, with body shivering like it had been activated or something, but the memories of that cold day, are without a shred of doubt, one of the warmest things I have.
PS : The pictures from some of my favourite memories are often blurred, in my mind as well is in my phone!
#travel #travelmore #writemore #fear #memories #wandering #cliffjumping