Does anyone else get in a bad mood for no reason sometimes?? (Or what feels like no reason...until we dig deeper). I strive to be a positive person, but guess what? I’m human. We ALL are. I don’t always feel positive, today being one of those days.
My anxiety was through the roof today at a new school, I yawned more times than I can count, came home and rejected a hug from my fiance, looked at annoying bills, realized I bought the wrong ice cream at the store (first world problems, I know) and cried for a while.
And cue the downward spiral. I start to feel like something is wrong with me, or like I’m a “negative” person, or a burden, etc. I could feel the old Ashley coming back. The one who was controlled by her depression and anxiety. By her shame. By her self-hate. I could also feel the current Ashley at the same time with these “coping skills” and things I know I “should” do, and saying, "feelings aren’t always true," and blah blah blah. It’s easier to preach it to others, easier to talk about strategies, easier to read about vulnerability, but when it comes time to walking the walk, actually applying that shit ain’t easy.
It took everything in me to listen to a meditation. To put on my workout clothes. To push play. But I’ve found that’s when I have THE best workouts. And when I’m the most proud. Because it’s not really about the workout for me. It’s about sticking to a commitment I made to myself. It’s about being stronger than my depression and anxiety. It’s about taking care of myself because I am worth it. And so are YOU! 💜
#TransformationTuesday #strongerthanyouthink #overcomingperfectionism #overcomingshame #strongerthanmystruggles #schoolsocialworker #fightsong #rachelplattenfightsong #warrior #loveyoself #couragetofly #couragetofirstloveyourself #vulnerabilityisnotweakness #vulnerabilityishard #hiitworkout #week4day2 #dontgiveup

Have you ever watched a storm split itself open and turned away, embarrassed by the naked frailty of the sky? No. You run for cover, don’t you.⚡️
#vulnerabilityisnotweakness #strength #power #emotion #sensitivity #processing #femininity #naturallight selfportrait #selfportraitphotography #fujifilm #fujifilmx30

Thanks for the inspiration, @harpermaven. 🙏

As an empath, I feel everything deeply. The good and the bad. The beautiful and the ugly. .
I used to think it was a curse, but my mom has helped me to understand what a beautiful gift it truly is. .
With that being said, this week has been a very emotional week. Not even for me, but for many people that I care about. My heart is hurting for them. And for everyone else in the world who is hurting. You are not alone.
I finished a book on my flight to Utah called, "If You Feel Too Much." If you're a person who also feels a lot, I highly recommend it. Or even if you don't. The book is written by the founder of To Write Love On Her Arms which is "a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide." .
#ifyoufeeltoomuch #twloha #empath #vulnerabilityisnotweakness
#strongerthanyouthink #youaregoodenough #youarenotalone #speakupspeakout #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #schoolsocialworker #itsokaynottobeokay #itsokaytotell #warrior #couragetofly #couragetofirstloveyourself #daringgreatly #dontgiveup #stompthestigma

The Respect Is Not Deserved, it’s Earned In Your Realness & Honesty . You come To Be That Person When You Are At Peace And Happy In Your Whole True Self. It’s up and down , dark and light , low and high . When You’re Happy Through All That , You remain Happy Always . That is what happiness IS. Through all things this feeling becomes endless . #vulnerabilityisnotweakness #FeelMe #Depth #HappyToShareMe. Those that feel me , feel me :) Let’s be happy altogether #AndreaBellamore #andreaaurorabellamore😻👑

Bend but don’t break = go with the flow but not when it’s harmful to you. Breathe and be calm showing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness #breathe #benddontbreak #vulnerabilityisstrength #vulnerabilityiscourage #vulnerabilityisbeautiful #vulnerabilityisnotweakness

When people ask me about healing, I tell them the truth as I know it from my experience. That healing is messy, dark, and very inconvenient. For some of us it is also a lot of breaking and knocking and hurting, over and over again. Instead it knocks us down with what is ‘needed’ for breaking all that is standing in the way of our ‘becoming’. Healing is chaotic, it’s confusion, it is brain scramble at midnight. It is a messy ride on a bumpy road that seems to reach nowhere and takes forever.
It is you pulling out worn out parts of yourself from wooden shelves with moth ball smells, and letting it go, admitting that they don’t fit anymore. It is revisiting the memories that have no romance or nostalgia, willingly accepting that no keepsake is worth keeping if it robs you of your soul. It is remembering that you are grown up and have outgrown those patterns now and that growing up is an ‘ongoing’ process that never ends, not even when you hit a landmark ‘awakening’. We continue to grow as a conscious rising. Healing is coming to terms with what was, what is and what will be and surrendering control, dropping the force and being willing to let life move through us, knowing that there are things in it that we will fully never know or ever own. It is discarding old skin, old feathers, old scales, old hair, and allowing nature to grow new ones on you, season after season, like a snake, a bird, a fish, an animal. Healing is the humbling realisation that you are higher consciousness and all kinds of cosmic awesomeness, yes! But also, that you are of the earth and an animal, too. And that the animal is gentle, is primal, is intelligent, is rooted, is connected, is powerful, is vulnerable, is a living, breathing, flesh and bone bodied creature that feels pain, that feels the rain, and loves the sun, that has keen senses, that knows the changes happening in the skies and across the land, is a beautiful creation, and is all essence and being. Healing is learning to navigate through our inner landscapes that have been devastated and are in ruins and decay, all over again. It is a lot of breaking down and crying. It is digging through the dark soil of the soul...

Whilst away with my family I dislocated my shoulder. The pain was horrendous, I couldn't move my arm with out severe pain and the pins and needles in my whole arm was unpleasant. (And still is)
The whole time people were asking are you ok. I smiled and said it's ok. I'm fine and smiled. With a few tears.. I held in the pain and tears as I seen them as weakness and vulnerability.
I have realised for once in my life its ok to not be ok. (I do look a mess if I say so myself) #lookingrough
It's not a weakness if you show pain.
It's ok to show vulnerability.
Slowly learning and becoming an even better version of me

In less than 48 hours I will be releasing my most #Vulnerable , #Best , #Promising , #Detailed , #Transparent , and #Encouraging body of work. It took me almost 2 years to finish this, I promise you will not be disappointed. JULY 10TH!#vulnerbilityisstrength
#VULNERABILITY 📸: @xvxyphoto

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