I went out with some girlfriends last night and we had a soul chat.
It's kept me thinking today and I have to share what's on my heart.
Why do we harshly critique?
Why do we troll?
Why do we bully?
Why do we gossip?
Why do we spew negativity?
These are all varying degrees of unease with oneself.
Basically, you've got a problem with yourself and you're being an ass to discharge it.
And I've been there. I've done all those things. I've been uneasy with myself and had a problem with it.
And because I didn't have the maturity to do better, I put that problem onto others.
It sucks saying all this, it feels gross really. But why it feels gross is not because I am ashamed of it, or because I feel like an awful human being.
(Although that was part of it at one point)
It feels gross because that doesn't fit me today.
It feels gross because I've been on the other side of those behaviours and it's heartbreaking.
And saying those things feels gross because it's like looking at an old sweater that I loved that I realize now is glaringly ugly, unflattering and doesn't fit whatsoever.
And as gross as I feel looking at that sweater--I also embrace it.
Because, as humans, we are dynamic and ever changing.
And we make mistakes.
(And that's okay.)
Learning from those mistakes is something to be aimed for.
The maturity I lacked so severely then I have worked so hard to cultivate now.
Because that journey lead me to the massive realizations I try my best to live my life by currently:
I will contribute more than I criticize.
I will spread kindness wherever I can.
I will choose courage over comfort.
Whew. Had to put that out there today. ❤️
(Actively trying to choose courage over comfort.)