guilt always washed over draco for what he felt. after all, he wasn’t on the worst side of the war, the side where thousands of innocent individuals were killed. no, he was on the side where everyone knew it was ride or die. and in some way, shouldn’t he be grateful? his parents didn’t die. he wasn’t starved to death and tortured until he couldn’t remember his own name. he had been well fed, coddled by doting aunts and uncles during their free time. he wasn’t fighting much, until the final battle - he only had to have the mark on his arm and he was set free from most of the worst responsibilities. shouldn’t he be grateful? he didn’t have his entire childhood taken away because he was fighting voldemort, or lose many of the most influential and caring people in his life. shouldn’t he be grateful? if he was, then why did it feel like his mind had been plunged into a dark hole, since the minute nagini’s head had been cut off? why did he cry silent tears in the muggle tube when he saw small children laughing, like it was something exotic and foreign? why did he get so distracted at work that he couldn’t think straight, that all he could think about was the screams that he had caused?
after all, shouldn’t he be more grateful?