Happy Friday, Peaches!
And it really is a happy one for me. Over the last four days I've gotten a collective 10 hours of sleep. My wonky thyroid refuses to cooperate, and though my doctor and I are working to track down an optimal dose, in the meantime these are long, agonizing days. My body feels like one giant flame, I can feel my muscles bubbling and trembling, and without sleep, trying to think is like dragging an anvil through thick snow.
If you've been with me for a good length of time, you'll remember that THIS is exactly why I didn't want to have a child. The mere idea of taking care of a tiny human under these conditions absolutely terrified me. TERRIFIED ME. I literally couldn't imagine how I would do it.
And so here we are.
I don't have to imagine it, because I'm living it. This is my life. Messy, hard, extravagant, exhausting. I feel utterly weak and profoundly strong. There is something very powerful about this moment.... To be this uncomfortable and still feel relentlessly loved. I'm basking in it. Awake and present, leaning into the pain and relishing the thousand precious moments that are even sweeter because they are FOUGHT FOR.
Belly bubbles and tiny toes and slobbery kisses. I feel God's grace in me and around and beneath me. A torrent of love and strength propelling me though these days. I feel Him, and to know this steadfast love is a symphony for my soul. We are dancing. The creator and I. He leads me, spins me, holds me and lifts me.
Wherever you are, whatever hardships are knocking at your flesh today, please know how deeply and emphatically and relentlessly loved you are. SO DAMN LOVED.
In other news, this painting is a preview mockup of what's to come in Watercolor Bootcamp. Stay tuned for an announcement this coming MONDAY!!!
Happy weekend to you, loves. 🍸