"I didn't love well because I was disgusted with myself." I heard that from our speaker at church on Sunday and it rocked me! I immediately welled up with tears and had goosebumps. That was me!! That was the person I used to be!
💎💎💎💎 I was mean to my husband all the time, arguing with me about the dumbest things. I snapped at my children constantly about everything. I was always mad about something. The smallest thing would set me off and then I would go on a tirade about everything I had done right and everything everyone else did wrong. 💎💎💎💎 I lashed out to those I loved the most because I DESPISED the person I had become. I absolutely hated the person I saw staring back at me in the mirror. 💎💎💎💎 Whenever I was mean to my husband or kids, I would be 100X's worse to myself, silently. Whenever I failed to stick to a fitness plan, I told myself that I was a terrible person for not being able to just do a workout. Whenever I would fall off my nutrition plan, I would immediately punish myself internally and end up binging. 💎💎💎💎 And then I decided to "just lose some weight." I figured I might as well look good and maybe that would help me feel better about myself. I had no idea that my physical transformation would only be small part of my overall transformation. And I really wasn't expecting fitness to be my way out of depression and anger. 💎💎💎💎 Every time I fought through my excuses and finished a workout, my confidence grew a little. Each time I pushed pst my comfort zone and worked a little harder, I felt empowered. Everyday I made healthy choices and turned down junk, I felt in control, even if it was just for that meal. 💎💎💎💎
Little by little, day by day, I changed from the angry, mean, bitter woman I had become to a happy, loving, kind woman my family deserved. So when you see my sweaty selfies, know that there's more to them than just trying to change physically. That workout represents the person I used to be and the person I have worked hard to become.