I'm working on loving myself.
The first step, I guess, is to admit that I've been struggling to love myself.
I don't have anything figured out.
I've just been writing about what I've truly been feeling in my heart - in my happy moments and lately I dared talking about my dark side as well. 🥀
And somehow I manage to help thousands of people out there which is overwhelming and amazing.
However, I've been depending on the approval I receive online too much in order to feel worthy. I'm beyond grateful for all your kind words & I appreciate every single one of you so much. It's an amazing experience to connect with so many people on such a deep level. 🖤
Yet, I never learned how to appreciate myself. I never learned how to really love myself & acknowledge my self-worth unconditionally. I thought I did, but I realized I only did when certain conditions were met.
Like most of us, I've been brainwashed by a money-driven society that takes advantage of causing insecurities in us.
I preach everyone should embrace themselves the way they are, yet I'm unable to do it myself.
I always worry about how others perceive me & therefore I live a lot through the lense of a third person observer, constantly analyzing every move I make, instead of being there, myself, in the present moment.
The biggest fear I have is rejection, since rejection is the root cause of my insecurity. I've experienced too much rejection from family, friends & partners for as long as I can remember and I've been telling myself I deserve being treated like shit. I'm willing to give so much love to others, yet I don't give enough to myself.
Being as honest on the internet where thousands of people are watching is anything but easy, especially since it's already hard enough to admit all of that to myself.
I hope it helps some of you. I need to be transparent and honest with you. There are already too many shiny fake accounts out there making their followers feel insecure and bad about their lives. I don't wanna be one of them. I wanna help you be happy.
Maybe we can learn to love ourselves together.
I love you. 🖤