Today I received what I'd asked for over 20 years ago- my tubes were not just tied, but removed!
At 18 & pregnant with the twins, I told (not asked) the doc I wanted my tubes tied. "You're so young. You'll want more kids. Don't you want a boy?" These statements were assumed as truth and, not in words but non-action, my request was denied.
21 months after the twins were born, I had a son. I was 20 with three children by an abusive man. I was a stereotype. Young, black, poor, with more children than I could support & bleak options. I was still quite young & was not in a headspace to be turned down, so I didn't ask to have my tubes tied. #Miscarriage & #abortion followed in my quest to limit #offspring. It took years to find the #birthcontrol that worked for my irresponsible lifestyle.
I met my husband and we chose to have a #child. We talked. We weighed options and we CHOSE. For once I was in control. Birth control stopped, we had a kid. One child. Like a kid holding the remote- volume, channel, closed caption- I was in control. No kids, done. Kid, done. No kids again, done. As the expiration neared, a shift came in who would be responsible for preventing future children. I had carried the load, it was his turn. Fast forward to today, and a 52 day old baby lays next to me as I type.
And it's not to say I don't love, need, want, enjoy or devote myself to my #children- I made a decision 20+ years ago, for #myBody which was not honored. And each life, born or not, is carried on my shoulders. So today is mine. This #uterus is mine. This #decision is mine. This #life is mine. This #relief is mine. It took three more kids & twenty more years, but I can say I'm #doneHavingKids.
I love my babies, and I love me too.
#womensrights #reproductiverights #mybodymysay