CW: Mental Health.
Toasting the beginning of a new tour from a place of mental wellbeing - which feels heady and yet incredibly grounded.
It’s two years since I was at Edinburgh Fringe. The last time I was there, a week into the festival, I finished a show to discover a good friend of mine had passed away. It shocked and shook me in ways I could never have anticipated. I completed the rest of the tour - but I rolled from one serious crisis after another (literally - I ended up in hospital with a potentially fatal allergic reaction and looked like a muppet with a duck beak for a week in Intensive care. 😱) and came home totally and utterly at the end of my tether. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I have struggled with tours ever since and it wasn’t until recently that I made the connection with that experience and my rising sense of anxiety every time I have gone away on tour since. Sounds obvious with hindsight - but often we’re so busy just breathing through the day, slogging away at it all, we have no mental space for viewing our lives objectively. .
Now I know where that sense of panic and anxiety is coming from I can put in place measures to stop it from suffocating me. I feel nervous to return to the scene of such a deep emotional trauma - but I also feel like this is a chance to shake hands with my grief and walk through the rest of my life with it, not fighting it. .
I wouldn’t usually start a tour which such a serious reflection like this - but then that’s partly the point. It’s high time I owned my experiences - the good with the bad. It might not be insta-perfect, but it’s real and messy and me. .
This time - I can’t wait to touch down in my old hometown, rock London off it’s feet and then head up to Edinburgh to embrace some demons and bring Edinburgh a cracking Fringe Wives season.
Wherever you and your demons are at, all the love. x
#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Livin #ItAintWeakToSpeak #TourLyfe #TourLife #UpAndAway #ToInfinityAndBeyond