Windrush scandal - Millions hoping they will not have to return to the UK.
Unlike those caught in the recent outcry over fears of deportation in "error", millions of British citizens are hoping that their papers will be disregarded by an incompetent Tory government and they will have to stay on a tropical island, forever.
The architect of the Windrush scandal, Theresa May, has sparked a fierce national debate over immigration and those who arrived from the Caribbean before 1973. "I wasn't even born in 1973", said Jack Thomas, an engineer from Nottingham, with no ties to anywhere outside of England, "but I have no desire to return to this shit-hole." Jack is one of many who fears leaving two weeks in the sun behind and having to live out the rest of a bland, unfulfilling life, on a dank, miserable island with a malevolent Tory government. "I hope I get stuck in Grenada, this July," said Susan Hopkins, 54, from Droitwich, "and they finally discover that I am not of Irish descent but actually Afro-Caribbean with no rights to reside in my semi-detached council house, leaving me to seek transcendence at St. George's harbour." "I'd love to be left stranded, kicking-it in the Caribbean," said Duncan Matthews, 28, from Hull. "Unfortunately, I will only be holidaying in Bridlington this summer. But if the inept government would like to send me to the B.V.I. I won't complain." In 1948, there was intense national debate on whether to welcome the new arrivals. However, today, 70 years on, the government is even finding it hard to welcome any citizens to the UK - even those born here - as they fail to make life tolerable for anyone who isn't part of the aristocracy or white. "The only 'welcome' sign in the Caribbean," said Tory MP Anna Soubry, "should be a tax haven holding my retirement fund." #aoibheannssuite #blog #satire #windrush #caribbean #immigration #inepttorygovernment #nottingham #unwelcome #uk #toryausterity #grenada #jamaica #annasoubry #taxhaven