To My Dearest Dad,
It’s officially been a decade without you here and there’s not a day that I don’t think of you. And I know you miss me too, because from time to time, you visit me in my dreams and it’s truly bittersweet. In those fleeting but beloved moments, I appreciate your smile and comforting presence so much (it all feels so real!) but when I wake, I’m met with the harsh reality that your appearance was born from not only my hopes to see you again but also my grief, because I know that I won’t.
But I certainly cherish any imaginations of you as I do my favorite memories of us together: cruising in the front seat of your red Oldsmobile, habitual purchases of purple Squeezits, finally charging you for all the years worked as your chiropractor, horse races at Golden Gate Fields, growing the smallest potatoes on the planet in the backyard, our walks literally anywhere in the summer, your burnt fried rice, and of course, you giving me bowl cut realness until 3rd grade. These and many more are the memories I treasure so much! And sharing them with the people I love helps me reminisce with so much gratitude for your time here with me.
I know I was only twenty when you passed and no where close to being my best self, but I’ve grown so much academically, professionally, and spiritually since then. Along the way, there have been plenty of trying times and heartbreak but ultimately, they became opportunities for self improvement and success. I just always wish we had more time to experience everything together.
But somehow, even in your absense, I know you’ve been here. I feel you every day and somewhere, out in this beautiful universe, I know you still exist. You are a park I stroll through, a photograph I hold, a song I crumble to, a sky I marvel at. I have struggled so much with piecing my own heart back together since you passed yet my heart continues to grow when I find new ways back home to you for wisdom, love, and peace. I am constantly evolving my life and I hope you’re proud of everything so far. I love you so much and I miss you today, tomorrow, and always.
With all the love I have to give,