As we dove into the legalities of same sex parenthood on our (presumably) NY state birth certificate, we were relieved to learn that adoption was not necessary to legitimize our family structure and shared sense of parental rssponsibilities. But as we looked further into the discrepancies of state by state laws and the landscape of disarray for LGBTQ+ rights at the federal level, we decided we'd go through the adoption process anyway to ensure that our kids were "both of our kids" regardless of whose bun was transplanted into whose oven. We wanted to make sure we would both be seen as parents "anywhere we'll ever go together" and that our kids had two parents to turn to "under any circumstances". As we look around at the shifting foundations of this democracy, we know we have to be more vigilant than we ever expected when same-sex marriage became legal in 2015. The extra mile of precaution we thought we were taking is not extra at all. We'll all have to be twice as smart and over-prepared to enter into parenthood as second class citizens.
If you have other tips for safeguarding the birth process, we'd love to hear them. And if you have questions about how we came to our decision, we are happy to share our resources.
From California Attorney General Xavier Becerra: "Our country has made great strides in dismantling prejudicial laws that have deprived too many of our fellow Americans of their precious rights," Becerra said. "Sadly, that is not the case in all parts of our nation, even in the 21st century....While the California DOJ works to protect the rights of all our people, discriminatory laws in any part of our country send all of us several steps back. That's why when California said we would not tolerate discrimination against LGBTQ members of our community, we meant it." #coivf #familyplanning #prenatal #preparenting #pregnancyplan #familyplanning #lgbtqmoms #lgbtq #twomoms #twomomfamily #lgbtmoms #lgbt #ivf #gayby #gaymoms #lgbtequality #parenthood #gaybyguide #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcjourney