So I am looking at the ceiling for last three hours without even moving for a while. That's typical me. It's 6 am in the morning and I am still struggling to get to sleep. Lately I am struggling for everything I guess. Like always I don't get enough sleep, forget to eat and there's always a phone in my hand though I have no idea what I am doing with that. 55 perchant as it says. Yeah, nothing changed.
I turned right or I can say I tried. Yap, there's the neck pain. Now, there will be horns of transports, school going childs would cry making excuses for not going there, people will start going to their workplaces and eventually mom and dad would quarrel over some small things. And what would I do? I would overthink everything avoiding their noises or maybe they would just beat me up as a solution to their problems. Nothing matters.
I checked the message option. No new messages from her. She left and nothing changed. That's what happens when you trust someone. Or did i put enough efforts on the relationship? Maybe I wasn't good enough and she was right about leaving me. Oh shit, I am overthinking now. Why do I even think about her after all these days? It feels like she is still there, texting me or planning our next date.
Why does it feels so real? What's happening to me? I felt hopeless. Fear grasped the silence. Is everything really okay? Where's the noises of those transports? Oh no, I didn't open those windows still. Wheres mom and dad?
Then I remembered. I remembered that there's no problem, no quarrel left on my life. I solved everything. There's two bodies in my adjacent room. Bloodstains on the wall and an axe. Mom and dad. And the feeling was true.Something is different.It's the smell of those dead bodies.They are there, can't move ; frustrated by not getting me beaten up.Ah..what a cocophony they made before leaving.Their eyes looked so bright,begging for life.Just like me in other days.
I felt so happy and sad at the same time. I wanted to cry, I weeped. I wanted everything like before even for a second. I stood still. Don't know why, I stood still.
#instawrite #dhakagram #musing #instastory #tryingtowrite #colcuttacocophony #writer #fiction