I'm experiencing a stream of shit in my life. Almost every day something unpleasant is happening. Stuff breaks, I'm unemployed, broke, without any perspective to work in my industry (film) and staying in Australia and my visa is just about to run out. Yesterday my computer broke down which was just all I could take. I went out and climbed a mountain to put my face in the wind.
My brother used to train himself carrying hot things and putting his finger into the fire. He said if you want to you can take control over an unpleasant feeling or pain.
I remember being in India not so long ago in a meditation retreat. If the air condition in the mediation hall wasn't working it was crazy hot. The teacher was switching it off sometimes and it was unbearable. At some point I understood he was doing that on purpose. The exercise was to observe the sweat, heat and discomfort on the body, without reacting to it.
There is a theory that if we would be presented with all what is going to happen in our life, with all it's good moments and shitty moments, we would go on living fearless. Fear comes from the uncertainty of what is going to happen next.
So I went down the mountain yesterday and at the bottom of it there is a Celtic spiral maze where you put a stone in middle - a symbol of what hurts you - and you walk off on the circular path until you exit and let it go. On the stack of other people stones I put my stone - my computer - and walked off.
I don't know what's going to happen next. Shit will keep on happening for sure. Life will put a hot plate in my hand and switch off the air con many times more.
As I was walking down the path back home, the breeze was nice and my back was straight and my brain was glowing with neon letters saying NO FEAR.