Some lessons are hard won, and I think it's important to share our stories to help others who may struggle with the same things. In my past I was known as a people pleaser. I would justify my unhealthy habit under the context of caring about people. There's only one problem with that logic...if you truly love people then you can't always make them happy. At some point in your relationship you will have to deliver truth that's hard, IF you truly love them. Let me explain, truth and love go hand in hand and, therefore, you can't have one without the other. When you love someone you are saying, "I love you no matter what. Good, bad, and the ugly." And truth means that you can always count on me to be completely transparent and honest with you.
During that season I would allow myself to be in an anxious state because I knew if I answered honestly or spoke truth about what I was seeing, I ran the risk of hurting them...conflicting to say the least. But it was this verse: "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10
and then truly observing and understanding what grace looked like in my life that broke me from that pattern. Grace is getting love and forgiveness that you don't deserve.
It took work and daily mindfulness of my thoughts and actions, but I am now able to live in the freedom of who I am, love people unconditionally, and speak truth in love knowing that their eternity matters more to me than the way they feel about me on this earth at that moment. If I'm not willing to shed light on someone, then I question whether I truly love. To love is to want only God's best for them in every way. "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." - 1 John 4:20
Don't live your life to please people, live it to please God. Serve people in love and truth, and let your light shine into their lives. You were #MadeForMore and you are loved😘