This whole last year has been quite the journey.
We moved while I was 7 months pregnant, to plant a church in a new city. While building our home, and learning new roles with a new church family. Sharing space with my in-laws while trying to navigate 3 small children and their ever changing needs.
Going from a very structured, beautifully simple lifestyle to a completely crazy and busy adventure.
It has been fun, exhausting, lonely and hard. My husband and I feel like we are walking on a tight rope. Facing each other.
It's quite the task.
Every time we toss each other a situation, one of us goes forward and the other goes back. Back and forth we juggle our responsibilities. And we grasp hands to keep steady as we wobble on the wire.
We see the world around us, the life we have been blessed with. The responsibilities we have been charged with. We are not complaining. It is an honor, however I'm finding we are weary.
Where we once gently tossed the other the weight of our responsibilities, we begin to throw. And then to shove. The tango on the wire begins to shake even more. We don't look into each other's eyes as we move, and our steps become uncertain.
I know where this road leads. I am not naive. Separation happens in the disconnect. Divorce happens because of separation.
Weeds grow with neglect and thorns can be used to hurt as well as protect.
I think it's important to speak things out loud. Saying the words sheds light on the problem and the shadows that once seemed so big are now shown to be what they are. Often, what seems weak is the thing that takes the most strength.
We have spent the last few weeks in counseling. Talking about our marriage, ourselves and my junk.
And you know, it helps. And it also digs up more problems. Because, well that's life. We are broken, hurting people and we are created to be relational. To connect. So that means we must work through our junk to heal each other.
When you feel the thorns wrapping around your heart, and you placate yourself by saying that they are for protection...take another look.
And rid the soil of weeds that strangle.
#life #thrive #work #toil #grow #recovery #renew