the five of pentacles is a card of loss, illness, hard times. we're feeling a lack of resources, are stretched too thin, and it's forcing us to evaluate what we really need. it's a card that encourages us, asks us to find our inner strength. everything feels too hard, but sometimes the best growth can come from challenges. this is a time to care for yourself, make sure you're safe, and work to recover from this setback.
coming back to the real world after the delicious queer bubble of #autostraddlecamp is harder than i expected. i miss my new friends, miss feeling safe and connected, miss being surrounded by love and community. i feel lonely and exhausted and very, very sad. pulling lyrics from she used to be mine from my brand new (handmade!) lyrics oracle deck feels like a kick in the teeth, since this song never fails to break my heart.
but i know that when the camp hangover fades and i find my nyc community of queers and campers, when i remember how to fit into this world again, i'll be so grateful for the time i had in ojai. now i know what it feels like to have connections like this, and maybe i'll be better at finding them in the future. i know that i deserve to have people in my life that care about me, understand me, love me.
the wild unknown tarot (@the_wild_unknown) by @kim_krans