Being a mom is dope. There's no doubt bout that . We love our kids more than anything. There's nothing we wouldn't do for them. But there's something about them that our pre mom selves could have never prepared for emotionally or psychologically: their grossness!!!! We've seen it all over the years .
Here's our top 10 reasons why kids are gross :
1) Public washrooms don't phase them. You will visit hundreds in their first few years of life because they will always have to pee. You will work so hard to potty train them and then you will unequivocally regret those efforts.They will touch everything from the flusher , the sanitary napkin thing and its contents and maybe even the toilet water while you're trying to lift up your pants .That's if they're not opening the door and exposing you to the long line up . At least they're all women .
2) They will pick their cute as button noses and eat the boogies they find. Once they're old enough to understand you telling them not to do it because it's gross, they won't stop. They'll just hide and think you don't see them.When you ask they'll deny it.
3) They will lick things. Gross things. These things may even be their shoes. The soles of their shoes.
4) No matter how many times you tell them, they will use their sleeves to wipe their noses and mouths . Sometimes at the same time. Sometimes when they're sick.
5) They will fart in public and they will tell you in their loudest possible outdoor voice.
6) They will backwash and before you become any the wiser, you may just take a chug . First time moms beware.
7) They will eat anything from anywhere. Especially of public floors or the floors of your back seat . Your previously existent cat reflexes won't be quick enough. Before you know it that piece of candy or that fishy cracker will be in their mouth.
8) They will chew food for what seems like hours and then just spit it out. On themselves , on the floor , on you.
9) You'll go grey reminding them to wash their hands .
10) They will find gum that someone stuck underneath a restaurant table probably 2 years ago and stick it in their mouth.
Did we miss anything? Because our kids are gross and we know yours are too 😁