I haven't been any really emotional mood lately, so I can't really about any pain; 'cause actually there is none. I have been worried about seeing him in school again the last days, but when I did, I actually didn't mind. It didn't feel well, but also not bad, just.. uncomfortable. So for exaample when he waved at me today. I ignored him. And even though I'm not happy about it and even though I don't want to make him ignore me, my life seems as if I could move on gladly without it.
Don't misunderstand me; I am upset about it didn't work out the way it should have. It's not fair and I could possibly not imagine how I could be then. The fact, that the following two days have been very hard, just like when I got to know that this is the end, prove that I really were in love and that I really could have imagined us getting closer. But I'm okey with it. Remember Lukas and Dortmund? The day I sat in the train home felt I would have missed getting a chance of receiving love, but during the following days I accepted it. I thought it felt so easy to let go because I was happily in love with somebody else. But now I know, that's not true.
Pain still hurts, the world didn't change at all. But my point of view changed.
After my heart got crushed by my exboyfriend, I started change. And when I came over it, I think I learned the most important lesson.
People always say, that it get's a lot easier handling the pain of a broken heart and I always thought, that it would be a lot of work you have to do to embrace the person you are. But here I'm standing now, and I can gladly smile. I still have got a future plan, I'm still feeling like love could fullfill me and I sometimes still think about some people from my past. But that's okey. That's the person who I am, and even though I still struggle with myself sometimes, I finally embrace and love myself as person that I am. The bright, naive and hopeful side, just as the dark & deep other side. I found people that I can love, that don't hurt me, because they don't intend to. Some real friends that fit into my life that I respect and love. And that's all I need for now.
#SimoneSimons #Epica #SymphonicMetal #TheHolographicPrinciple